Oh orange slice-filled iced water ... how I love you!

I'm up in Tahoe for work and we are staying at a very cool place, Plumpjack Squaw Valley Inn. I have stayed here several times for work events and I love it! Aside from the girl with the zig-zag pigtails that checked me in last night, everyone is really nice and it seems like they all take their happy pills before coming to work. (In zig-zag girl's defense, she had just gotten out of the hospital and hurt her back, so mabe her happy pills hadn't kicked in yet, but still, why do you have such perfect zig-zag pigtails if you are in so much pain, and I won't even talk about the fact that I think she might be too old for the pig tails ... bygones.) So, I love this place. It's a perfect week for me to be up here because Sacramento is ass-hot this week and the air quality is even worse. It's still smokey up here, but I don't mind staying indoors because I'm at Plumpjacks!

So this morning I decided to start my day by going to the little gym downstairs and walking on the treadmill (the air quality outside didn't appear to be very safe). I walked in, filled my bottle with the delicious orange sliced-filled ice water and turned the corner to find that they only had one treadmill! What?!?! AND, there was some older lady on it walking.

Before I got pregnant I would go to the gym and hover around the ladies on the treadmills, especially the ones that weren't running. I felt like,I'm a runner and I should have priority because I'm going to really use the treadmill for what it's intended for. (I was a bit of a snob I think). I felt like, if they are just walking, why can't they use and elipitical or something else becaue are they really getting a workout? I have to apologize for my behavior back then, it was uncalled for and now that I am a regular walker I think I have a better understanding.

That being said ... I still have one little complaint about treadmill walkers and that is this. If you are going to walk on an incline and crank up the speed, are you really doing yourself any good by then holding on to the top of the treadmill for dear life? Wouldn't it just be easier to lessen the incline and the speed to something where you can move and use your whole body? Maybe that's just me and maybe I'm wrong, I am new to this walking world, but seriously lady, just a few notches lower and I bet you wouldn't need to grip the upper bars until your knuckles turn white.

So, the one treadmill in my little happy gym was taken, so I used the eliptical machine and read my new (borrowed) book. It's the "girlfriend's guide to pregnancy" or something like that. Evryone has told me that i have to read it. So, I was skimming through and reading this one part where she talks about how your body changes when you'repregnant. I found myself relating to what she was saying and then wanting more. Don't just tell me I'm going to have cellulite everywhere and I could get stretch marks and extra hair... is it going to go away?!?! Can I work it off or am I stuck with "thknees" for the rest of my and BHR's lives!?!?! Cheese and rice lady, gimme some answers ... don't just tell me these things happen and leave it at that.

Even though I know that I'm looking for answers that I won't find in a book and I'll have to be patient to see what happens once BHR arrives and I learn about life after childbirth, I'm going to keep searching for that one answer ... the one that tells me I can do this, that I can be a mommy, be active, go to law school and get rid of my ass-thigh-knee-cankle-combo. Wish me luck!

Finger Update

I got my stitches out this morning ... definitely hurt less than having them put in. The doctor said the nail is definitely going to fall out and should grow back in 4 months. I've always been a bit self concious about my hands to begin with, so this probably won't help. Maybe this will be a good thing? Maybe it will teach me to treat my hands better, stop picking my nails and my cuticles and to always wear polish? Or, maybe I'll just get some cool bandaids and start a new trend? Either way, I have some F-ed up fingers on my right hand ...

Oh well, at least the finger is still attached.

Butternut Squash Update

BHR now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel.

I can't believe I'm 29 weeks ... it seems like it's taken forever to get here, but at the same time I feel like I still have forever to go.

Who the F puts bacon in Potato Salad?

Fourth of July came and went and I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Our annual "Yellow Dog Cup" was much smaller this year, but still festive. We missed Ed and it definitely wasn't the same. I missed doing fireworks, but my mom and I held our heads out the bedroom window and watched a few of the giant explosions at the park. We also saw an owl land on the front lawn, and I think that's good luck...

There's something very special about my mom's house ... not just because it's where I was raised, but something different. Even when things are bad, the house seems like a safe haven. I feel protected there ... everything tastes better and feels better and smells better. Even on an off night, everything is more special. Most of it has to do with my family and memories of joy and laughter, but I also believe that there is something extra special just there. For the most part, I'm not a sprititual person, but I when I think of positive energy and happy thoughts, I definitely think of my mom and Ed's house. I'm sure they don't always see it that way ... when things break or burst or bees are living in the walls, but when we're all there, everything seems almost perfect.

Back to the Fourth ... The weather mostly cooperated and I was able to be outside with my family and do my annual 4th of July Free Fun Run, which was actually a walk because I'm not running:(


It was fun though ... walking 5 miles put races in a new perspective for me. It takes a long time! As my brother put it "We won in reverse." I'm pretty sure we were the last ones across the finish line, but it was fun and I felt accomplished the rest of the day.

We had potato salad at my mom's later that day and ever since then I have been really craving potato salad ... but it feels like there is a strange force out there that is preventing me from having it!


On Sunday we were at Greg's sister's house and they had potato salad and it looked so good! So I piled it on plate and took a bite. I felt my mouth go up in flames and realized there was some jalapenos in it. Now I love spicey food, but unfortunately along with BHR has come a wicked case of heart burn, so alas, no more potato salad for me.

Today I walked around the corner to the weird salad shop that's never as good as you want it to be and I saw that they had potato salad. I was a little bit excited because I felt like I could finally satisfy the potato salad craving. I got back to my office, took a bite and there was something strange.... something smokey ... something I don't eat ... it was bacon! Who puts bacon in potato salad?!? I never thought to ask "is your potato salad vegetarian?" Cause who the F puts bacon in potato salad? I tried to eat around it, but everything was so mashed together ... looks like I'll have to go another day without that starchy, bad-for-you salad.

Dark Chocolate is Totally Healthy!

I needed to get out of the office and I decided that I would go and get a drink, that was it! I swear! Somehow I ended up wandering into Sees candy along the way. I guess it's not really along the way so much as it's around the corner and down one block, but who's counting.

So, I wandered into Sees thinking I would just get one piece, one cup if you will. However, they give you a free sample when you come in. So the nice lady behind the counter offered me some cherry something or other and I declined saying "no thank you" but she insisted and asked me what kind of chocolate I wanted to try. As if I haven't tried sees before. So I got my free almond square and convinced myself that it was healthy because it was almonds and dark chocolate, but since it was free I had to buy more! I couldn't pretend it was gross and then storm out of there, how could I ever show my face again, and how would I get the tasty chocolate?!?! Oh the dilema ...

The nice lady convinced me to just get a 1/2 of a box and I convinced myself that it was a good idea because I'm going to share them with the office! I picked out mostly dark chocolates, because they're healthy, and continued back towards the office to get my tasty beverage.

I now have 8 pieces of sees and a DIET cherry 7up. The diet in the soda is going to counterbalance all of the bad stuff in the chocolate, even though it's dark chocolate, there's still a little bad. Today is turning out to be quite nice ... a little sees, a little diet cherry 7up, what could be better?

I'll tell you what could be better ... my new guilty pleasure is on TV tonight, "Wipeout" ... watching people fall off of stuff and land in mud. It's an hour of nonsense and pure garbage. I love it! I think I might watch it with another diet cherry 7up and Sees candy.

The letter T is missing ,,,

I finished my exam last night ... it was not my best performance, but given the circumstances I guess it went better than expected. I'm pretty sure I didn't do better than a C- and if I get that, I'll be quite pleased.

Doing things mostly one-handed is a lot harder than I thought. I basically look like I'm flipping everyone off, which maybe I am because I'm secretly angry that they can brush their teeth with their right hand ... Typing is a lot better than I thought, but I still make a bunch of mistakes. Plus, the letter "T" key on my computer has fallen off, so that is also quite difficult.

It's been a strange couple of weeks ... with all of the baby scares and the hospital visits and the smoke outside, things have been quite glim. Ed is off in Florida taking care of his mom and he won't be here for the 4th of July. I know taking care of his mom is so much more important, but I always hope for happier times this time of year.

I love 4th of July. Not because I'm super patriotic, because I'm really not. I don't wear red and white and blue together and I sometimes feel strange about what America represents in the rest of the world. I love living in America, and I love what we say we stand for, but I am scared of what we do and what we have no control over ... I don't want BHR to grow up in a world where terrorists and war are the norm. For the most part, I can't think of a place that would be better, but that doesn't mean there aren't things that need to be fixed.

4th of July isn't about being a good American for me ... it's about being with my family, as most holidays are. We aren't doing fireworks this year, which bums me out, but I think with the way the air has been and the fact that I was trapped in doors for a week because of the smoke make it hard for me to justify lighting more things on fire. Even if the things make pretty colorful sparks.

28 weeks

We're 28 weeks. It still feels quite far off, but I know BHR is coming sooner than I think. BHR weighs 2 and a quarter pounds which is apparently similar to a chinese cabbage.