Oh Crystal man, how I wish you would bring me some more tasty lemon yogurt...

My latest craving for the day is lemon chiffon dannon yogurt. I have never been a major lemon-citrus person, but for some reason with this pregnancy I love all things lemon. I bought this one flavor because I needed one more yogurt to get my 10 for 10 deal at Safeway and so I grabbed this one thinking that it would be the one that I leave for Greg to eat because he likes all the weird flavors, but something about it seemed to entertain my taste buds this morning and I ate it. It was quite tasty, so tasty that I even considered going out to the food store to purchase 10 more ... I didn't.

When we were younger we used to have the Crystal man come to our house and deliver us milk and yogurt. I feel like he even delivered us english muffins, but that could be wrong. We always got lemon yogurt and cherry yogurt. It's weird that we even got the yogurt and the milk considering my mom dislikes both foods and I don't recall Lucas or I being big milk drinkers. I loved waking up and opening the door and seeing our breakfast treats waiting for me. I only remember it happening when the weather was nice and by nice I mean in my memories it always felt like Fall, I could be wrong ... everything great happened in the fall.

It felt like school was starting and the air was chilly, but you knew it was going to heat up later. Lucas and I would walk to Deterding together ... I always hated walking across the grass because it was wet and my socks would get soggy. I loved walking to school with Lucas though.

I also used to like checking the newspaper in the morning. I liked checking the weather, I wanted to be a weather person. I think that changed early on, but I don't remember. I wonder what BHR is going to want to be when he grows up? I wanted to be a fashion designer at one point, and a firefighter, but mostly I remember wanting to be a civil rights lawyer ...knowing that I've wanted to do this for so long you would think that I wouldn't hate law school much, but unfortunately that's just not the case. Law school will be worth it in the end I imagine ... once school is done, I'll be able to afford to have the crystal man come and deliver me some tasty lemon yogurt ... although, now that I think about it, does the crystal man even exist anymore, I feel like he doesn't and that makes me a little sad.

Maybe Greg will be the Crystal man and bring me some tasty lemon yogurt? I won't make him wear the outfit and he doesn't have to leave it on the front step, although that would be kinda' fun to wake up to some tasty treats on my front porch. Also, Greg doesn't like my yogurt, so he would probably bring home some weird organic-all-natural-yogurt-creme-stuff that has 800 calories that only people who are 6'1" should be eating ... I'll have to think about this plan some more, but that yogurt sure was tasty!

37 Weeks

BHR is now considered full term. He weighs 6 1/3 lbs and measures a bit over 19 inches head to heel. That is about the length of a stock of swiss chard. I wonder who actually figures this stuff out, seriously, swiss chard?

Cool T-shirts?

Not a lot of blogging going on these days ... mostly because not a lot has been happening. I'm not working, which is nice because I'm able to focus on school and baby. if I'm being honest though, I'm mainly focusing on "When BHR is going to arrive." I guess it could be any minute, right? I'm just about 37 weeks and they say that he is technically "full-term" but I really don't understand what that means exactly. If he's full-term, why isn't he here?

Right now I feel like I'm the last hold-out, the last pregnant person in my circle of pregnant people to remain pregnant. Even the person that was due the day before me has had her baby. I'm not angry, but I really like knowing things. I'm not big on surprises and I'm a major planner, so I feel like I'm a bit stuck. I want to know the details and I especially want to know what to pack! My family is making me pack today, but that's just not how I operate.

I've been trying everything to make BHR arrive. I've heard lots of different rumors about what induces labor and so far, I don't think any have worked. I had Mountain Mikes Pizza, Eggplant Parmesean, walking, lavender, yes we even tried sex (which is not very comfortable and kinda' strange if you ask me) ... at least the food choices are all tasty, right?

I have another doctor's appointment on Friday. Let's hope they don't tell me what they told me last time ..."the baby's waaaayyyyy up there ... no baby this weekend." I know they could always be wrong, but the over emphasis of "waaaaayyyyy" was a bit disheartening.

Part of me is really ready, and part of me is really scared. I'm not scared of BHR, I'm mostly scared of labor. Again, I like knowing what's going to happen. I'm a creature of habit and I don't like change much, so not knowing what, when and how it's going to happen is a bit troubling for me. How am I supposed to plan?!

Last night Greg and I had a long talk and we were talking about our name selections ... we had finally decided on one and I had even ordered a pillow with the initial on it last month. So, we pulled out the computer and started researching the meaning and the stories of this name ... turns out, not really such a good name afterall. The pillow is going back...I guess it's a good thing BHR hasn't arrived yet, otherwise he could end up with a name that means something that's not good. Maybe I'm not quite ready or maybe everything will fall into place once he arrives, who knows.

I know I've faced a lot of different challenges, but I don't think anything compares to this. Greg says to think of it like a marathon, but labor doesn't sound much like a marathon to me right now. Unless, when you picture a marathon you picture someone ripping your insides open and pulling out a human being, then I guess you can compare it to a marathon, but why would anyone pay to run that? Maybe they give out a really cool t-shirt?

36 weeks - What is a crenshaw melon?

BHR is gaining about an ounce a day and weighs almost 6 lbs. This is like a crenshaw melon, although I don't know what a crenshaw melon is, I'm sure it's a nice melon. BHR is more than 18 1/2 inches long.

Bon Jovi in a chair

We finally got our new rocker finished! It's not exactly new, but it's an old rocker with a makeover, sorta' like Bon Jovi! Greg painted the chair and we had new cushions made for it. It's perfect and fits me perfectly. It even makes the little "creeky" rocker noise that rockers are supposed to make. Greg wants to fix that noise I'm sure, but now that he's a "new Jew" he's going to have to fix less stuff!

Life Savers, Tic Tacs and Strawberry Rhubarb Shmoo

Greg is off to become a Jew this morning. This process has taken him almost 2 years, but I'm sure it has felt much longer for him. He already has had his symbolic circumcision or his "hatafat dam brit", this morning he went before a panel of three rabbis, also known as "Bet Din", and then at 1:00 today he will be dunked, also called the "mikveh." I'm truly impressed with his dedication to the process, not just what has been required of him, but also his own desire to learn and explore something that I think I have probably taken for granted.

I was born Jewish, and while I attended Sunday school and Hebrew school and everything else, being Jewish has been different for me. Sunday school was never pleasant for me, I didn't have a ton of friends in my classes and never really felt like I fit in. In fact, I remember having one friend in Sunday school who was one year ahead of me. She wore a Raiders parka and had really high bangs.

In regular school I remember being one of three other Jewish students in the class and we would have to go up in front of the class twice a year and talk about Chanukah and Passover and explain to the non-Jewish kids what the holidays were about. I felt different, but I'm not sure I felt special.

After my Bat Mitzvah I remember feeling proud and accomplished, like I had made it. It felt good to be Jewish, but still different. Temple was never a place I wanted to go and I remember resenting Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur because they often fell around the same time as my birthday. It wasn't necessarily Judaism that I didn't like, but temple wasn't a comfortable place for me.

When my dad passed away in 1995 and had the falling out with the Rabbi, that was when I questioned Judiasm. I questioned the Rabbi and felt like he let me down. I don't regret saying what I said at my dad's kaddish and I would probably say it again ...I knew something was right, and I said it. I'm sure many people think that my timing was off, that I shouldn't have said what I said when I said it, but I wouldn't change a thing.

After that, being Jewish was not about going to temple, it was about something I did with my family, something that connected me with different people around me ... family traditions and lots of food. I really owe my mom for making sure Judaism never left my life. Getting me to temple was probably never easy, but she made sure we were there and she surrounded us with loving people and created a new family for us, she made sure we knew that being Jewish was important.

I remember going to temple and sitting in the way back. Sleeping through half of the service and waking up for some of the songs. (In fact, I still sing a lot of the songs on a weekly basis, mostly in the shower. I'm sure Greg has enjoyed them. I think it was my singing that made him want to convert, I have such a lovely singing voice and they are quite catchy tunes.) My mom would give us lifesavers and tic -tacs and we would bug her about when we would get to leave. We were allowed to leave the service and play in the hallway, but only during the sermon. For the longest time I didn't even know what a sermon was, I basically thought it was "break time."

When I went away to college Judaism came with me. I didn't attend temple until the firebombings in 1999, but I always felt connected. Maybe I didn't appreciate what it meant to be Jewish until then, or maybe I just was waiting for the Rabbi to retire before going back, or maybe I was just being lazy...it was probably a combination.

Being Jewish has never been about a belief in God for me ... I question God a lot and his/her existence, and I think that's a part of it. I think questioning is a big part of being Jewish for me. More importantly, Judaism is about culture and tradition and family.

Greg's curiosity and interest in Judaism has helped bring me back and given me a new perception about what it means to be Jewish. Our wedding was one of the happiest days of my life and having a Jewish ceremony was something that helped make it so memorable.

I always knew that I would raise my child Jewish. I never cared if my partner was Jewish or not, but he had to be willing to raise our kids the same way I was raised. Not everything we do or have done in my family has been the most "traditional" ... but Judaism is something that is with me.

I love incorporating our family traditions with knew ones. I can't wait to share latkes with BHR for Chanukah and Matza pancakes with him on Christmas. I love Passover ... eating Gaby's strawberry rhubarb shmooey stuff and reading my mom and Greg's new haggadah. I love that it's a living document. My mom wrote it and Greg and Lucas have both contributed over the years. It's nice to feel that being Jewish is special, that it's an honor ... I thank my mom and Greg for reminding me.

Now that Greg is a Super Jew he can make sure that BHR knows all of the history, I can sing him the songs, my mom can give him lifesavers and tic tacs and we can all eat latkes and matza brie and be thankful that we're Jewish and get to eat such tasty food.

Honeydews and Law School

BHR is now 35 weeks. He is 18 inches long and around 5 1/4 lbs which is about as much as a honeydew. Most of basic physical development is complete, so now he's just gaining weight, just like his mommy!

So, BHR could be born anytime, but I have to say this ... the impossible has happened. I am finally in a law school class that I don't want to miss! The professor doesn't take roll and he doesn't really care that much if you are there and I actually want to be there! Who would have thought that it would ever happen? After two years ... two LONG years, I have finally found a class that is enjoyable. The class is Family Law. No, it's not just divorces and custody battles and it's not just depressing stuff. I've only had one class, so I can't say that I really know exactly what it's all about, but I know I like it so far and that's a huge step.

What does this mean for BHR and I? Well, it means that I'm hoping BHR can hold on at least one more week, because next week we are discussing same-sex marriage and frankly that's one of the reasons I came to law school, so I'm hoping I dont' have to miss it ... if BHR did decide to come a bit early, I think I'd be okay with that too:)