Cool T-shirts?

Not a lot of blogging going on these days ... mostly because not a lot has been happening. I'm not working, which is nice because I'm able to focus on school and baby. if I'm being honest though, I'm mainly focusing on "When BHR is going to arrive." I guess it could be any minute, right? I'm just about 37 weeks and they say that he is technically "full-term" but I really don't understand what that means exactly. If he's full-term, why isn't he here?

Right now I feel like I'm the last hold-out, the last pregnant person in my circle of pregnant people to remain pregnant. Even the person that was due the day before me has had her baby. I'm not angry, but I really like knowing things. I'm not big on surprises and I'm a major planner, so I feel like I'm a bit stuck. I want to know the details and I especially want to know what to pack! My family is making me pack today, but that's just not how I operate.

I've been trying everything to make BHR arrive. I've heard lots of different rumors about what induces labor and so far, I don't think any have worked. I had Mountain Mikes Pizza, Eggplant Parmesean, walking, lavender, yes we even tried sex (which is not very comfortable and kinda' strange if you ask me) ... at least the food choices are all tasty, right?

I have another doctor's appointment on Friday. Let's hope they don't tell me what they told me last time ..."the baby's waaaayyyyy up there ... no baby this weekend." I know they could always be wrong, but the over emphasis of "waaaaayyyyy" was a bit disheartening.

Part of me is really ready, and part of me is really scared. I'm not scared of BHR, I'm mostly scared of labor. Again, I like knowing what's going to happen. I'm a creature of habit and I don't like change much, so not knowing what, when and how it's going to happen is a bit troubling for me. How am I supposed to plan?!

Last night Greg and I had a long talk and we were talking about our name selections ... we had finally decided on one and I had even ordered a pillow with the initial on it last month. So, we pulled out the computer and started researching the meaning and the stories of this name ... turns out, not really such a good name afterall. The pillow is going back...I guess it's a good thing BHR hasn't arrived yet, otherwise he could end up with a name that means something that's not good. Maybe I'm not quite ready or maybe everything will fall into place once he arrives, who knows.

I know I've faced a lot of different challenges, but I don't think anything compares to this. Greg says to think of it like a marathon, but labor doesn't sound much like a marathon to me right now. Unless, when you picture a marathon you picture someone ripping your insides open and pulling out a human being, then I guess you can compare it to a marathon, but why would anyone pay to run that? Maybe they give out a really cool t-shirt?