The Tale of Two Poos

The day Noah was born the Rabbi came by and did a blessing on both Noah and I. It was really moving and it was so nice of the Rabbi to come by the hospital. She stayed a little while and chatted with us. She has two young boys so she gave me some advice ... she said "...and take your stool softener."



I didn't realize at the time the importance of this statement. Everything comes down to poo. I have never really had a problem with the softness of my stool. I knew they weren't going to let me leave the hospital until I foofed (or passed gas), but I didn't realize that I wouldn't poop for a few days. Every time the nurses would check my vitals they would say "Have you passed gas" and sadly I would have to say "No, not yet."



Everything about gas and poo is funny! For those that know us, Greg and I, we're big foof proponents, how could I not have been able to foof? I felt so defeated! When I was in the hospital the days sort of blended together, so I don't remember the momentous day, but I did eventually foof and I felt so proud of myself, so accomplished. I had a baby and I had foofed, what could be better, right?



Well, yesterday I finally had my first poop. I know this is a lot of information, because really, how often to people talk about this stuff? But I have found that after having a baby, modesty goes out the window, so if this is too much for you, you may want to stop reading now, because it only gets worse ...



Anyway, I went to the bathroom yesterday morning, and I sat there for what felt like 30 minutes! Greg even wondered what happened to me ... apparently having a baby slows EVERYTHING down. So not only had I not pooed in several days, but it felt as though I was in slow motion. I think I must have pooped out my intestines; like the poo had piled up inside my body and was being released from captivity .... and again, I was proud of myself.



So today, Noah proved that he is 100% part of this family ... we had our first poo-explosion! I took Noah into the nursery to change his diaper. When I opened it up there was only a little bit of pee-pee, so I started wiping and was about to change the diaper and then it happened ... he foofed! I giggled, he giggled and then I looked down and I noticed, there was a little bit more poop. So I called Greg and asked him to get me another wipe (we use dry wipes and then get them wet in the bathroom, so I couldn't leave Noah by himself on the changing pad).



Greg came in as I was changing Noah out of his second diaper, he foofed again ... and with that poo shot across the room! Across the diaper basket, across the stack of wipes, onto the baby blanket, through the changing pad, across the wall and onto the door. While Greg and I were laughing and trying to pick up the poop-covered baby pieces I leaned over, still giggling, to give Noah a kiss on his forehead.



I said "welcome to the family" and with that, Noah peed off his diaper, up his tummy, onto his shirt and onto his new little addidas. Greg and I lost it! I didn't know what to pick up first ...I couldn't stop laughing!



We finally got ourselves under control, finished picking up the pee and the poo-covered baby paraphernalia and I felt reassured and proud; Noah is definitely part of our family.