Oh lady friends, how you wobble to and fro ...

Last night I cleaned the bathtub for the first time since I got pregnant (it was cleaned during the pregnancy, just not by me. Greg didn't like me inhaling all the chemicals and then I couldn't bend over because of my oversized belly) I felt liberated! I could bend over and scrub all of the nooks and crannies. I was not hindered by a giant protruding tummy.

It's amazing how small I feel and how much further I still have ... I stopped looking at the scale when they would weigh me at the doctor's office. it just got too depressing. I knew my clothes didn't fit, that I felt puffy and round, that my thighs that were once strong were now jiggly and floppy, who needs a scale to tell them that? I didn't really know where I was coming from as far as the whole weight issue was concerned after Noah was born, so I felt like a new person, like an "after" picture for a weight-loss company.

At my two week appointment I had to weigh-in again. The doctor informed me that I had lost about 20-25 lbs. It's amazing that after such a short amount of time I could lose so much weight. I still have a lot to go, but in my mind I feel like a squishier "old me"... The squishiness is what I'm going to use to motivate me to get back to my former self.

I'm nervous to start running again. Nervous and excited. I'm anxious to see how much strenght and endurance I have actually lost and how quickly it will return. I wonder what new wobbly bits I have created during my 9 month hiatus...another part of me that is causing me some concern are my new lady friends that have taken up shop on my chest, also known as "meal time" to Noah. My boobs are huge! (If I'm being honest, it's really just my left breast that is huge, my right breast is just extra large). I'm concerned about how these ladies are going to handle the running. How will I strap them down? It is almost like walking around with a refrigerator on my chest, that's how big they feel ... I guess I should be okay, at least I lost the extra large belly that went along with the extra large breasts right? Or, maybe the extra large breasts are just so large they make my tummy seem small? Either way I'm excited to get back to running and nervous to see how the ladies are going to handle the impact. Maybe it's good that I haven't been cleared for running yet? This way I'll have more time to adjust to my new "lady friends"...

Today we are going to SF for the Nike Women's Marathon (no I am not running a marathon 3 weeks after giving birth ... I wish!). I'm so excited. My mom and Ed are coming with us and they will watch Noah while Greg and I walk about 4 miles of the race with Leah. I have never jumped into a race in the middle and I'm feeling quite conflicted about it, but I figure giving birth is sorta' like doing a race. It takes a lot out of your body and is physically challenging ... I'm really sore afterwards, so doesn't that give me a little leeway here? If the doctors were to clear me to run, I'm pretty sure I would give it a try, but alas, I have 3 more weeks to go.

I've done this race every year for the last 4 years, since its inception, I can't not go. It's MY weekend, my happy time ... its my favorite race in my favorite city. Greg and I go every year. We start at the expo where I buy way too much Nike gear and then we head over to Fillmore street where I get a NonFat Vanilla Latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, the tastiest coffee shop in the world. We do more shopping and then we hit another favorite restaurant, either Luna Cafe or the Citrus Club or Barney's Hamburgers, followed by more shopping and more eating. Basically, it's the perfect weekend, a combination of running, shopping and eating at all of my favorite locations.

I can't wait to share the experience with Noah. The race is really empowering and honors female athletes, maybe that's one of the reasons I love it so much (or its the serious shopping that I'm do while I'm in the city ... I think it's a toss up). I'm sure he won't remember this, but it's something I hope to make a tradition with him. I want him to grow up knowing and witnessing what women can accomplish, what HIS mom can accomplish.

Marathoning has always seemed unique to me, not just because so few people can say they have run a marathon, but because it's something athletic and it's a sport that doesn't focus on winning. Its more about accomplishing a goal; challenging yourself and pushing yourself to do something that you might not think is possible, but in the end, when you cross the finish line it doesn't matter that you came in 19,999 out of 20,000, it's more about what you have just achieved. So, Noah will grow up witnessing what it's like to set goals AN what its like to achieve them, and then we'll get to go shopping.