George Costanza

This mommy stuff is hard work ... not that I didn't expect it to be difficult, but I just didn't know what to expect. I new it would be a challenge and I new it would be rewarding, but I just don't think it's something that you can prepare for or that anyone can fully express in words, you just have to experience it for yourself, and I am ...

Noah is a lot of fun. I love watching him smile (even if it's mostly when he's pooping or foofing...I can believe he's smiling at me)...yesterday I bounced him around the house singing all of the camp songs that I could remember, and when I ran out of those, I started singing him all of the hebrew songs that I know. He makes everything else seem less important and that's okay with me because we all know how I feel about law school ...

I feel accomplished when I change a diaper and when I get out of the house at least once during the day. This is a big change from before when I was able to go running at 5:00am, then get coffee, go to work, study or go to school, and keep up on all of my popculture and television shows. I don't miss that the way I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I miss running, I miss being able to run down the street to target and grab a few things, but those things don't seem as important to me.

I definitely have my good days and my bad days ... last week I felt like the worst mommy in world because at mommy group all of the other mommies were playing with their babies. They had rattles and bright colored squishy things and I had a diaper cloth. What's Noah supposed to do with a diaper cloth other than spit up on it? That's not fun, or at least from what I remember from when I was his age I don't think it was fun? I know he's only a month old, but he should have bright colored squishy things to look at and at least sit next to. So, when we got home, I shoved a bunch of things in the diaper bag and I haven't taken them out once.

Noah has also stared losing his hair ... it's in the oddest pattern though. He has only lost the top portion of his hair. Greg determined that he looks a bit like George Costanza. I of course have become the type of mother that freaks out about everything! I spent the afternoon on the phone with the nurse ... I called them 3 times in one day! "His hair has fallen out in a horse-shoe-old-man pattern, is that normal?" and "He has bumps on his head, is that normal?" also "He poops while he's eating and he grunts a lot while he's trying to poop ... normal?" All of which the nurse informed me was normal, but if I wanted to make an appointment I should call back during office hours. Noah has an appointment today at 4:45. Yes, I am that mom. The one that calls for anything and everything and I think I'm okay with that, because the last time I had a baby .. oh wait, I've never had a baby. So I've decided to give myself a break. Calling the doctor for anythign and everything is okay.

Also, I've become the online mommy looky-loo. This is where I go online and search for anythign and everything I can find about different baby ailments, which is so so bad! WebMD is evil but if they had a category for "George Costanza-like hair loss" I might not have to go to the doctor today and look like an idiot. Oh well, I suppose its better to be overly cautious right? I'm hoping I grow out of this phase and that everything becomes more routine, but until then I guess I can nurse Noah on one side and do internet searches on the other, right?