Thrrrrppppp, Bddeeepppp and The Academy of Sciences

I finished my exams last night and now Greg, Noah and I are in San Francisco relaxing, shopping, going to Museums and eating. To see our trip to the Academy of Sciences click here.

Noah has started doing some fun new things ... here are some videos of what he's learned. Click here and here.

I'd write more, but after three exams, my brain is fried!

10 hours to go ... and then one more

Oh law school exams, how I hate you so ... I think this was a very bad idea! 10 hours until my next exam. I'm still studying. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

Greg and Noah are all cuddled up in bed and I'm out here, surrounded by papers and outlines and supplements and books. Gary is keeping me company though and every now and then he whimpers and then wakes himself up. Then he'll wander over to me and I'll take a short study break and pet him and then back to the dormant commerce clause ... right now I really don't care about the constitution at all, in fact if the founders were here I think I might ask them to be a bit more precise in what they wanted people to do, because maybe then this exam wouldn't be so hard!

Okay, that killed about 3 minutes, so I should probably get back to it ... my last exam is on Wednesday and then I'll finally get a break!

Full Circle...

I tanked yet another law exam yesterday and then today I ran the last leg of the CIM relay. This was almost where I was just one year ago? It seems so long ago...when Greg and I were in Italy we decided we were ready to have a baby. We thought about when; when would be a good time to start trying and how would we plan this? We tried to plan around school as best as possible, but more importantly we had to plan around my marathon schedule. I wanted to do one last CIM. So, last year after completing CIM, Greg and I went home and started "trying." Again, "trying" just means having sex and for anyone that has a run a marathon, you know how sore you are, so you can imagine how much fun that was. Noah was not conceived right after CIM, but it wasn't too long after. And thus, we began our journey to parenthood... (So now you all know what I did after my marathon).

While I was running today, I thought about where I was just last year ... last year I was without a baby, without Noah, and I was running a full 26.2 miles! How crazy is that? Thinking back to all of the other CIM's that I have run, I remembered the relay runners zoom past me and thinking that they were imposters. I remember thinking, "how dare you look tired" or "how dare you walk, you're only doing 6 miles!" So today, I felt like I needed a sign that said "it's okay if I look tired too, even though I'm running a little less than 6 miles, I just had a baby 10 weeks ago" but I think that would be a very long sign.

I saw a woman run by me, or maybe she was in front of me, I don't know ... but she was wearing spandex running pants and her butt was jiggling around and I thought "hmmm, maybe she should rethink those pants" and then I felt like an asshole because if her butt is jiggling and she's running a full marathon, what makes me think mine looks any better? I mean, I'm only doing 5.something-miles! This again reminded me of where I was just a year ago. When I used to run, I felt strong and running 10+ miles felt like an easy stroll in the park. I felt fit and maybe not completely firm, but the extra stuff, the "pregnancy build-up" that I have gained didn't exist.

I'm not completely delusional, I know my butt didn't used to be completely firm, but I can only imagine what it's doing back there now. I mean, let's face it, I was just pregnant and while I was pregnant I was sitting a lot. I'm also in law school, that too is a lot of sitting, besides that, now that I'm not pregnant, I'm still in law school, and now I'm breastfeeding and watching a baby, EVEN MORE SITTING! Shoot, my butt is probably flat and jiggly!!! So, after that realization, I apologized to "Spandex Girl" in my mind and then I ran faster ...

I decided I definitely have to do the marathon next year...I felt guilty when I was running. People were cheering on the sidelines "You're almost there!" and "You're looking strong, keep it up" and I thought "wow, that's very helpful, thank you ... I feel good and I CAN do this." And then I ran a little bit faster. The cheering and the signs were nice confidence boosters, even if they weren't actually for me.

When I ran over the J Street bridge, just after mile 21, there was a family on the other side holding a sign that said something about "go daddy" or "we're proud of our dad." How cool is that? I bet when he gets home from work there isn't a sign that says that. Why do we only have these "signs" and cheering for marathons and sporting events? Are the other times in our lives not as important? Maybe not as challenging? I know going to work might not be as hard as running a marathon, but certainly the things that we do in our everyday lives are no less worthy or important? Maybe if I had people writing "Go Julia! You can do it!" in chalk on campus, I would do better on my exams. Or maybe if there was a poster in the front of the exam room that said "keep it up, you're almost there" I would get that feeling that you get as you turn the corner at Manzanita and Fair Oaks, when you come out of that crowd of people and feel like "I'm totally doing this! And I feel awesome" and maybe then I wouldn't walk out of each exam thinking, "hope I didn't fail that...please let me pass, all I need is my C."

Being in law school has certainly humbled me much like a marathon. It reminds me that not everything is going to be easy, if it were, everyone would do it, right? Or maybe not, because honestly, do we really need more lawyers?

So, next year, I'll try and run the full marathon. Hopefully my butt will be less "jiggly" and hopefully Noah will be there cheering me on with a sign that says "go mommy." Because it was just one year ago that Greg and I began the process of "trying" to create him and he has become part of my life marathon that makes everyday important.

Some New Noah Videos ... You don't have to watch them all

Noah might think something is funny...

Noah has a new do...

Sing it Nana!

Going to Nana's Bday

Chit chatting...

Soy cheese is not cheese...

Noah and I went to the doctor today to check on his poop and see if my diet changes/sacrifices have worked...turns out its all been worth it! Noah's poop was blood-free! While the idea of eating soy cheese for the next 9 months makes me cringe, I know its all worth it because Noah is doing better...

Noah weighs 12.06lbs and is 23.5 inches long.

Hopefully ... waiting

Tuesday night I was in Constitutional Law, at about 8:00pm someone shouted "Barrack Obama just won!" The class applauded, except for me because I feel weird about applauding things that aren't happening live in front of me, sort of like when people applaud in the movie theater, don't they know that the actors aren't actually in the screen... anyway it was an amazing moment. One that I'm sure I will never forget. History was made and more importantly I felt hopeful and excited ... maybe our country won't turn to complete shit afterall?

While I was excited and happy that the right person will be running our country, a good person, I am still completely shocked about Proposition 8! I have always felt special living in California. I felt like I was part of this open and tolerant place, a place that was teased about being liberal and I was proud. How could so many people around the country vote for hope and change and at the same time, so many people in California also vote for discrimination and bigotry?

I struggle with the idea of celebrating too much about how we have elected our first African-American President and at the same time my state has now openly discriminated against an entire group of people. California voted to give chickens and cows more rights, which I believe they deserve, but at the same time, same-sex couples watched their rights get taken away. Do people really value chickens more than people? We are the first state to openly discriminate against an entire group of people.

I think I'm still stunned ... still stunned that Prop 8 passed and that I have a right to marry and my dad still would not. What makes the love that I have with Greg so much more superior than someone else?

I was excited to a part of history on Tuesday night, I never actually believed that I would live to see an African American President in the White House. Maybe my son will get to live to be able to see same-sex couples get the same rights as everyone else, but I hope it doesn't take quite as long ...

I found this quote on the No on 8 site to be very insightful:

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.” Anne Lamott

I think I waited and watched too silently, maybe I didn't work hard enough and in fact, maybe I gave up. Because maybe I was just too presumptuous and I just assumed that everyone thought like me, that we all deserve the same rights and that there was no way that Prop 8 would pass, how could it? I'm hopeful that the dawn will come and everyone will have the same rights as everyone else.

Welcome Back Muscles, Goodbye Jiggly Bits

Yesterday was my first run back ... I met Leah at Fleet Feet and bought new shoes and then we met at her house. I was determined to do at least 3 miles. I didn't care how slow. I was so excited!

Noah and I trailed behind Leah and Evelyn the whole way, but it felt amazing! So much fun to be running again. So much fun to have Noah there to experience something that I love. I remember when I was a kid my mom used to take me along with her on her bike rides. I sat in a chair on the bike of the bike. I remember one time, I think we were going to pick up Lucas at school, and my mom was making a lasagna and I got to bring some of the extra noodles with me while I rode on the back of the bike. I remember feeling special ... I'm sure Noah won't remember being pushed around in the BOB, but hopefully this becomes something that I'm able to do for a while and then he'll look back like I did about the lasagna noodles and bike ...

Anyway, Leah and I ran around Land Park. We started out walking to the Park for about a mile and then "ran" another 3 and then walked back to her house. I was probably running slower than I did when I first started running in 2000. My body felt like it was moving so fast, but my mind new better. I saw my shadow moving along side of me and I'm pretty sure I could have stopped and walked and beat my own shadow, but I didn't really care because I was finally running!

Things were definitely jigglier than I remember and I don't remember my boobs being quite so heavy and bouncy before, but again, I was running, so it didn't matter. Things hurt and ached and I was breathing very hard. I couldn't wait for the street lights to turn red so that I could stop and wait, but it all felt amazing.

I'm not as sore as I thought I would be. The motions and the movements felt very familiar, so maybe some of muscles remember this feeling. It took me almost 5 years to get to the pace I was at before I got pregnant, I'm hoping it doesn't take that long again ...

Get out the vote ...

Hope everyone remembered to vote today!

Spaghetti and Meatballs ...

When I was a kid my mom used to make all of my Halloween costumes. She insists that she didn't make ALL of them, but she made most. I was a bunny, winnie the Pooh, a wookie, a cool cat and many other things. I remember going and picking out the patterns at the fabric store and I remember her spending time making the outfits and thinking of all of the details. The best costume that she ever made was actually for Lucas. He was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (I can't remember which one) and she made him an entire turtle shell out of paper plates. By the end of the night he lost the shell and was really just a green ninja, but his costume was still the coolest.

When I was 10 or 11 or maybe even 12 my girlfriends and I decided we were all going to be pigs. We even got cute pig masks. My mom and I went and bought pink fabric, pink tights and a little pink tail. She made me this giant pink sac that I wore with my arms and legs hanging out the sides and the bottom, I wore my hair in pigtails and then I put on my mask. When my girlfriends showed up for pictures only one of them was wearing the pig mask and even then, the rest of her dressed as a punk rocker. They were all wearing cute little jean skirts and ripped t-shirts with funky makeup ... it was as if they had crossed the puberty line into the "cool" costumes and I was still a little kid. I was all round and pink and they were cute and punk. Still, my mom and had fun making the costume and I felt special in my homemade get-up. We laugh about it a lot now and my mom says "how adorable" I looked, but I guess after a certain age you don't want to look adorable, you want to be cool ...

It is for this reason that I decided that I wanted to take a stab at making Noah's first Halloween costume. I probably won't have that many years to make him cute outfits and go to the trouble of finding just the perfect pig tail or ninja shell, right? The problem is, I'm not very crafty. In fact, even as a grown-up, Greg has made all of my costumes. One year we were Dorothy and Toto and the best ever was when we were Princess Leia (not princess Leia in the gold bikini, but the real Princess Leia, the white robe thingy Leia) and Yoda. Greg walked around on his knees all night. He tied green gardening gloves around his knees and glued fake nails on the ends so that they were toenails.
I already two costumes for Noah. I had decided that he was going to be a shark and he looked so perfect and cute in his little shark outfit. However, it's sorta' big on him and he just cries in it. We also have the pea pod costume, but I feel like everyone will have the pea pod costume, cause really there are so many things that you can put a newborn in for halloween? So I kept thinking...

I thought about the things that I can make ... I know how to make yarn poof balls! And thus, the Spaghetti and Meatball costume was born. The only problem is that what I envisioned in my head and what was actually created are two totally different things. So, while the other kids will be wearing the perfectly crafted pea pod and bumble bee outfits, Noah will be wearing yarn balls and felt held together by safety pins. Greg told me that it's a cute costume, but I think he's just saying that to make me feel better. He also said that it builds character ...If only people could see the picture that's in my head, then I think they would understand what I was going for. At least we will have the memory and its the thought that counts right?

Good Job Nana!

So, we took Noah to the Doctor today ... I had a long list of concerns; His George Costanza head, cradle cap, colic, rash. My mom was watching Noah while I went to my first class and then she was going ot bring him to the doctor's office to meet me in between Family Law and Evidence. I was sure the doctor would just laugh at me and I'd be on my way. Turns out, while my mom was watching Noah he had a very strange poop, so my mom put the diaper in a baggie and brought it along.

Noah's George Costanza head is normal and will grow back, his cradle cap is normal and will clear up, and he doesn't really have a rash. She did determine that he is a bit colicky and that there are things I can do to help make it easier for us ... among them are giving up chocolate, caffeine, brocoli, apple juice, onions, and spicy foods. All of which are among some of my favorite things. If it makes him feel better, it'll be worth it, right?

After we went through my list of concerns, she then tested the poop ... turns out there were microscopic traces of blood in his poop. So, Nana (or my mom) saved the day! Part of Noah's poop and gassiness could be caused from dairy ... that means, on top of all of the other things that I'm giving up for the colic I also have to get rid of dairy. I'm not a huge milk drinker, but I defintely enjoy my cheese!

No chocolate, no brocoli, no apple juice, no onions, no spicy foods and now no dairy. They will test his poop again in about 2 weeks and if it's not better I think they'll throw something else out there ... she did say I am allowed to eat steak, which would be good news if I ate red meat.

I don't think any of this stuff is bothering him too much though because he's gained another 2 lbs since his last appointment and now weighs 10 lbs and 13 ounces. The way I look at it, if it makes his life better, it will make my life better. I can give up chocolate and dairy for the next 9 months or a year. I didn't think I'd be able to go without caffeine for 9 months and I survived, so I should be okay ...

On a more positive note, I get to start running in 11 days!

George Costanza

This mommy stuff is hard work ... not that I didn't expect it to be difficult, but I just didn't know what to expect. I new it would be a challenge and I new it would be rewarding, but I just don't think it's something that you can prepare for or that anyone can fully express in words, you just have to experience it for yourself, and I am ...

Noah is a lot of fun. I love watching him smile (even if it's mostly when he's pooping or foofing...I can believe he's smiling at me)...yesterday I bounced him around the house singing all of the camp songs that I could remember, and when I ran out of those, I started singing him all of the hebrew songs that I know. He makes everything else seem less important and that's okay with me because we all know how I feel about law school ...

I feel accomplished when I change a diaper and when I get out of the house at least once during the day. This is a big change from before when I was able to go running at 5:00am, then get coffee, go to work, study or go to school, and keep up on all of my popculture and television shows. I don't miss that the way I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I miss running, I miss being able to run down the street to target and grab a few things, but those things don't seem as important to me.

I definitely have my good days and my bad days ... last week I felt like the worst mommy in world because at mommy group all of the other mommies were playing with their babies. They had rattles and bright colored squishy things and I had a diaper cloth. What's Noah supposed to do with a diaper cloth other than spit up on it? That's not fun, or at least from what I remember from when I was his age I don't think it was fun? I know he's only a month old, but he should have bright colored squishy things to look at and at least sit next to. So, when we got home, I shoved a bunch of things in the diaper bag and I haven't taken them out once.

Noah has also stared losing his hair ... it's in the oddest pattern though. He has only lost the top portion of his hair. Greg determined that he looks a bit like George Costanza. I of course have become the type of mother that freaks out about everything! I spent the afternoon on the phone with the nurse ... I called them 3 times in one day! "His hair has fallen out in a horse-shoe-old-man pattern, is that normal?" and "He has bumps on his head, is that normal?" also "He poops while he's eating and he grunts a lot while he's trying to poop ... normal?" All of which the nurse informed me was normal, but if I wanted to make an appointment I should call back during office hours. Noah has an appointment today at 4:45. Yes, I am that mom. The one that calls for anything and everything and I think I'm okay with that, because the last time I had a baby .. oh wait, I've never had a baby. So I've decided to give myself a break. Calling the doctor for anythign and everything is okay.

Also, I've become the online mommy looky-loo. This is where I go online and search for anythign and everything I can find about different baby ailments, which is so so bad! WebMD is evil but if they had a category for "George Costanza-like hair loss" I might not have to go to the doctor today and look like an idiot. Oh well, I suppose its better to be overly cautious right? I'm hoping I grow out of this phase and that everything becomes more routine, but until then I guess I can nurse Noah on one side and do internet searches on the other, right?

Our First Trip Out Of Town...

Just got back from our first trip away with Noah. Had a wonderful time, but I'm exhausted! Noah did very well considering we were dragging him all over San Francisco. My mom and Ed were very helpful and very patient with all of the new parent issues and traffic problems ... maybe we were a bit too ambitious when we tried to take a 3 week old to dinner, but other than that, I think Greg and I handled the experience quite well...

The weekend mostly consisted of eating ... Noah would eat and then we would eat and then Noah would eat again and the pattern continued ... We went to Barneys Burgers on Steiner in the Marina, then Pasta Pomodoro on Union. The next morning we went to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (one of two in Northern California) and then to Saul's in Berkeley on the way out of town.

The race went fairly well ... I felt like an impostor jumping in at the bottom of the hill before mile 9. I knew I could have done more and I wanted to, but I guess this experience only gives me more motivation to keep training for next year's race, right? I missed seeing and running with most of my friends, but Greg and I had fun walking the last 4 with Leah who did the full 13.1 miles after having Evelyn only 3 months ago!

Oh lady friends, how you wobble to and fro ...

Last night I cleaned the bathtub for the first time since I got pregnant (it was cleaned during the pregnancy, just not by me. Greg didn't like me inhaling all the chemicals and then I couldn't bend over because of my oversized belly) I felt liberated! I could bend over and scrub all of the nooks and crannies. I was not hindered by a giant protruding tummy.

It's amazing how small I feel and how much further I still have ... I stopped looking at the scale when they would weigh me at the doctor's office. it just got too depressing. I knew my clothes didn't fit, that I felt puffy and round, that my thighs that were once strong were now jiggly and floppy, who needs a scale to tell them that? I didn't really know where I was coming from as far as the whole weight issue was concerned after Noah was born, so I felt like a new person, like an "after" picture for a weight-loss company.

At my two week appointment I had to weigh-in again. The doctor informed me that I had lost about 20-25 lbs. It's amazing that after such a short amount of time I could lose so much weight. I still have a lot to go, but in my mind I feel like a squishier "old me"... The squishiness is what I'm going to use to motivate me to get back to my former self.

I'm nervous to start running again. Nervous and excited. I'm anxious to see how much strenght and endurance I have actually lost and how quickly it will return. I wonder what new wobbly bits I have created during my 9 month hiatus...another part of me that is causing me some concern are my new lady friends that have taken up shop on my chest, also known as "meal time" to Noah. My boobs are huge! (If I'm being honest, it's really just my left breast that is huge, my right breast is just extra large). I'm concerned about how these ladies are going to handle the running. How will I strap them down? It is almost like walking around with a refrigerator on my chest, that's how big they feel ... I guess I should be okay, at least I lost the extra large belly that went along with the extra large breasts right? Or, maybe the extra large breasts are just so large they make my tummy seem small? Either way I'm excited to get back to running and nervous to see how the ladies are going to handle the impact. Maybe it's good that I haven't been cleared for running yet? This way I'll have more time to adjust to my new "lady friends"...

Today we are going to SF for the Nike Women's Marathon (no I am not running a marathon 3 weeks after giving birth ... I wish!). I'm so excited. My mom and Ed are coming with us and they will watch Noah while Greg and I walk about 4 miles of the race with Leah. I have never jumped into a race in the middle and I'm feeling quite conflicted about it, but I figure giving birth is sorta' like doing a race. It takes a lot out of your body and is physically challenging ... I'm really sore afterwards, so doesn't that give me a little leeway here? If the doctors were to clear me to run, I'm pretty sure I would give it a try, but alas, I have 3 more weeks to go.

I've done this race every year for the last 4 years, since its inception, I can't not go. It's MY weekend, my happy time ... its my favorite race in my favorite city. Greg and I go every year. We start at the expo where I buy way too much Nike gear and then we head over to Fillmore street where I get a NonFat Vanilla Latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, the tastiest coffee shop in the world. We do more shopping and then we hit another favorite restaurant, either Luna Cafe or the Citrus Club or Barney's Hamburgers, followed by more shopping and more eating. Basically, it's the perfect weekend, a combination of running, shopping and eating at all of my favorite locations.

I can't wait to share the experience with Noah. The race is really empowering and honors female athletes, maybe that's one of the reasons I love it so much (or its the serious shopping that I'm do while I'm in the city ... I think it's a toss up). I'm sure he won't remember this, but it's something I hope to make a tradition with him. I want him to grow up knowing and witnessing what women can accomplish, what HIS mom can accomplish.

Marathoning has always seemed unique to me, not just because so few people can say they have run a marathon, but because it's something athletic and it's a sport that doesn't focus on winning. Its more about accomplishing a goal; challenging yourself and pushing yourself to do something that you might not think is possible, but in the end, when you cross the finish line it doesn't matter that you came in 19,999 out of 20,000, it's more about what you have just achieved. So, Noah will grow up witnessing what it's like to set goals AN what its like to achieve them, and then we'll get to go shopping.

Damn you dirty flannels!

When I was younger I used to sleep with my mom, and i remember sometimes waking up and my mom would be checking my pulse and trying to hear if I was still breathing. I think I thought she was crazy, but maybe now I understand a bit more ...

Noah sleeps next to the bed in a little bassinet. He wakes up about 2-3 hours to eat and afterwards I'm up for an extra 45 minutes listening to his noises, checking to make sure he's okay and still breathing. I find myself checking his "symptoms" online while in bed and then asking Greg if we should call the doctor or check his temperature after every sound. I know looking at webMd is bad and probably only serves to make me more paranoid, but I can't help it, I've never done this before.

My life for the past 2 1/2 almost 3 weeks has consisted of feedings every 2-2 1/2 hours, followed by a poopy or a wet diaper and then back to sleep. I've been living my life in 2 hour increments and while it's good for me because I like structure, I find that I'm not really able to get much accomplished...nothing else seems that important right now.

I start school tomorrow. I haven't really touched my school work since Noah was born and that doesn't bother me. I'm fairly certain that this semester is going to be a giant waste of time and sitting through class is going to be an even bigger time suck than normal, but there's nothing I can do about that, because honestly, it just doesn't seem important to me these days ... it's not that all I want to do is sit and breastfeed my baby, but reading cases just doesn't compare to learning everythign there is to learn about Noah.

Greg went back to work last Thursday. Noah and I had two successful days alone together ... we even went to a mommy and me group. Noah was the youngest baby there and the other mom's acted somewhat surprised that we were there...I guess it's strange to be out and about this soon after having a baby or maybe it's the C-section? I don't know, I thought that was what you were supposed to do.

I'm not generally a person that likes those sort of "group" things, but I thought it would be helpful for me to be around other moms. Especially because I've never done this or anything like this, and by "this" I mean "being a mom." It's weird to think of myself as a mom, because in so many ways I still feel like a child pretending to do grown-up things.

I own a home and pay bills, but I still call my mom when I'm sick and I still sleep with a stuffed animal named Leonardo DaMonkey that I got when I was very young (I want to say I was either3 or 6, but I really can't remember and Lucas says I make up dates and ages). Leondardo was named after Leonardo DaVinci when I was going through my DaVinci phase.

I wonder what phases Noah will go through? I had an unfortunate black phase and an even more unfortunate "grunge" phase. (Damn you Seattle grunge rock scene! Damn you and your dirty flannels! Why did you have to be "in" when I was in high school? As if puberty and high school aren't difficult enough... ) Maybe Noah will only go through a super smart phase and get-good-grades phase?

I'm not sure what to expect or what phases he'll go through ... I only know that the last 2 1/2 weeks have felt like an eternity. Not in a bad way. I feel like I've been on vacation. That feeling where you wish you could stay in your little bubble forever. The type of vacation where you leave all of your paperwork and homework and bills behind ... mostly it's the type of vacation where law school becomes unimportant and the fear that you used to have of being called on in class and being unprepared and looking stupid in front of your professor and your classmates doesn't' scare you anymore because what you have experienced and what waits for you outside of the lecture hall is way more important.

Hair Dryers are more useful than I thought ...

The last few weeks or even months of pregnancy, everyone kept saying "catch up on your sleep now." That's good in theory, but really, there is no amount of sleep that I could have banked that would have helped prepare me for this. I feel like that's saying "just don't eat for 3 weeks so that you can have an entire cake next month." It doesn't work like that or at least it shouldn't.

One thing I felt I was prepared for was that I wasn't going to be sleeping, and I'm fine with that. In fact, it hasn't been that horrible. Noah is a very good baby. He sleeps a lot during the day and when people are around and then everyone leaves and he's then up all night long ... in fact, Greg is up right now trying to use the hair dryer to coax him into getting some zzz's (see "Happiest Baby on the Block").

I know it's normal and that babies are up a lot. I've been reading articles about sleeping babies and how you can help ease them into a sleep routine ... I haven't really found any very good advice. In fact, one said "to get baby used to sleeping at night, get them on a regular sleep schedule." Seriously? Who's the genius that paid you to come up with that? I could have told you that with or without a baby. Maybe if I tell him that sleeping through the night will help him have a more restful day, maybe that would work? I'm thinking probably not.

Again, I don't mind being up, I was expecting to lose all of my sleep once the baby arrived, but it's still difficult. I hate hearing him cry or seeing unhappy. Not because it's annoying, but because I don't want him to be sad or unhappy and I want to be able to always make it better. Isn't that what mom's do, make it better?

I think we're on the right track to figuring this out and I know it will take time, but I'm ready to make him happy now and possibly to get a sleep in between.

Oh nipples...how you ache.

I've been breastfeeding since the first morning in the hospital. In the beginning it was just the colostrum, but my milk came in a few days ago. It was nothing I didn't expect. My boobs got big and really hard and basically even more unattractive than they already were, but here's what I didn't expect ...

I didn't expect my nipples to remain so sore. Sure, I guess it makes sense, someone is sucking on them at a rapid rate all day long, but still, they hurt! Everything I read says "it's not supposed to hurt" and "if it does hurt, you probably have a bad latch and you should relatch and start again." Well, that sounds nice in theory, but unlatching Noah is quite difficult. He's a hungry little dude!

I truly believe in the benefits of breastfeeding. I think it's what's best for the baby, it's cheaper than formula, it allows you to bond with the baby in a different way and on top of it, you're supposed to burn more calories. What's better than that right?

For some reason I think I pictured it differently. I think I was more worried about my milk coming in than I was about the proper "latch." I think I thought once my milk came in everything would be a piece of cake. I imagined my baby sucking each breast dry and then they'd shrink back down to normal size, I'd burn 800gazillion calories and then I'd be good as new.

There's a girl in my class at school. She had a baby boy or first semester of classes right before our midterms. She is tall and thin and I remember seeing her in class and she was all belly. One week she had a little basketball belly and then two weeks later she showed for midterms and she looked completely deflated, the basketball was gone.

I talked to her after I became pregnant ... I asked her how she got back to her original "shape" and she said "breastfeeding" it's amazing! So, I think I pictured her whenever I pictured breastfeeding ... should it matter that she's probably a foot taller than me and that I could probably fit my entire thigh in the space between hers? (Apparently thighs aren't supposed to rub together).

Another example of this breastfeeding myth is Kerri Russel. I remember reading some article about how she got her pre-baby body back and she made some "breastfeeding is amazing" comment. They showed a picture of her in NYC standing by a cab. I imagined the paparrazi asking her the question "how'd you do it Kerri?" and her turning and yelling back "Breastfeeding! It's fantastic" and then getting into a cab like it was an ad for a new deodorant or something ...

So, Noah is only one week old and I'm already impatient ... not that I thought I would be back to prebaby after one week, I'm not crazy, but I didn't think it would be this hard. Something that "amazing" and so "wonderful" why does it make my nipples so unhappy? I don't mind waking up and feeding him every 2 - 3 hours, sometimes every 1 hour, in fact, I'm more than happy to spend time with the little guy, but I just want to do it right. I want to do it well and I want my nipples to stop tingling in the cold, middle of the night air.

I'm meeting with the lactation consultant this afternoon. I'm hoping she doesn't just tell me "it's not supposed to hurt, let's work on latching" because frankly, maybe it's not supposed to hurt, but it does. It's not something that comes naturally, nor do I think it should. We shouldn't just be used to walking around with something attached to our boob, it's cumbersome. (If people were attached to our nipples it would make buying shirts and driving very difficult, don't you think?)

It's an odd sensation and not one that I can explain easily, but I'm ready for the little dude to suck them back down to size, because these things are a bit unruly.

A few videos...

Some highlights of Noah's first week at his new home (or at least his new home outside of my uterus)...



Noah Meets Gary click here

Tasty Diet Coke click here

Hiccups click here

Noah's first walk click here



I am not the best camera person, but I promise to get better.

Counting, barfing, shaking and finally a baby!

I think I went into labor last Sunday ... the process is not like how it is in the movies at all! Here's how it happened. Sunday afternoon I noticed something "gross" in the toilet after I went pee (since I already told you all about my monster poo, who cares about a little pee, right?). I figured it was nothing, maybe a little left-over "something" from Greg that I didn't notice before. We then went to my mom's house for tacos and on our way home I noticed some cramping and felt my stomach tightening. It wasn't that horrible, but it wasn't comfortable either.

Later that night the "crampy-tight" feeling that I had felt before intensified and when I went to the bathroom, something else happened to fall out of me when I went pee pee... I determined that it must have been my mucus plug and thought "that was gross, but at least it's out and it's overwith." That night I breathed through the contractions while Greg counted them on the computer.

When I woke up the next morning, the contractions had pretty much stopped and were only happening every 40 minutes to an hour. I decided to go to school because I didn't want to waste any of my absences if I wasn't actually going to have the baby. Classes started at 3:30 and around 4:30 my contractions began again. I don't think I learned anythign that night, I just kept hoping that my water wouldn't break while I was in class!

When I got home around 8:30 on Monday night I went to the bathroom again and noticed something incredibly disgusting ... it was officially my mucus plug and it looked like a big pile of dirty camping boogers. My contractions then got closer and more intense, but still not regular enough to head to the hospital, so we counted ... we spent the whole night counting and falling in and out of sleep. Every 6 1/2 - 7 minutes we'd wake up, I'd practice breathing and Greg would try and hit the space bar on our internet contraction counter. To entertain us during the process we searched for goats in trees on youtube (it's a long story, but basically we were trying to prove that goats actually do go in trees). Here's what we watched to make us laugh ... make sure you listen/watch all the way to the end. Click here.


Tuesday was my due date, so I had a doctor's appointment that morning. I was trying not to get my hopes up. I wanted them to say "go to the hospital, you're ready to have your baby", but I didn't want to jinx it, so I stayed quiet. Our appointment got pushed back another hour and my contractions continued to intensify. Greg and I walked to starbucks, breathing and counting.



At 11:00am we went to the doctor's. She checked my cervix and was finally dilated. She said I was almost three centimeters, which was a huge improvement from our previous appointment. Then she asked me about BHR's movement and since I hadn't been feeling him move around as much as I was before, she wanted to do an ultra sound where she measured the fluid around the baby. He was measuring low, so she sent us off to the hospital. If everything was normal there, they would send me home, if not, she said we'd be having BHR that day.



I was somewhat scared. I felt a bit selfish because I really wanted to him to arrive that day, I didn't want to go home and sit and count more contractions, I wanted to stay at the hospital, but at the same time, I didn't want anything to be wrong with him.



We got to the hospital, got admitted and hooked up to the machines to measure what was going on ... The ultra sound showed that my fluid levels were normal and after an hour or so the nurse came in, measured my cervix again and I was just 3 centimeters. I told her I didnt' want to go home and so she and the doctor decided to admit me ... I was going to meet BHR!

We were then put in a large labor and delivery room and I was given pitocin. My contractions got closer together and much much stronger than before. I felt okay, but nervous. Greg helped me breathe through the pain and my family entertained me while I bounced around on a birthing ball. As the pitocin increased so did my contractions. I had it my head that I was going to make it 5 centimeters before getting an epidural, but at 4 I was over that plan and I wanted drugs.

After the epidural I couldn't feel any contractions and the next thing I new it was time to push. It had been about 12hours since I was admitted and I was dilated to 10 centimeters. I tried pushing for about 2 1/2 hours. During this time, I threw up several times and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't lay on my back without shaking and still I felt nothing ... no baby.

After 2 1/2 hours the doctor told me that BHR wasn't going to fit through my pelvis and she recommended that I have C-section. She began telling me what that would mean and all I cared about was meeting my baby. I didn't care about anything else ... I had waited 40 weeks and nothing was going to stop me from finally welcoming BHR.

The problem with the C-section was that it required me to lie down on my back ... this is what was making me throw up and shake. I remember being wheeled down the hall and going into the operating room, but everything else was a blur. I was so thankful that Greg and my mom were able to be there...I was not doing well,I couldn't get the shaking to stop and I was freaking Greg out.

I remember the doctor's asking me if I wanted to see my baby. They lowered the curtain/wall and I remember seeing slimy little boy and then my head fell back down. This was not how I pictured it. I imagined them handing me my baby and Greg and I ooing and aahing over our new bundle of joy. Instead I was too sick and shaky. My face and my legs were itchy from the anesthesia and my throat was raw from all of the barfing ...

I don't remember when I finally got to hold my baby. I remember looking at him in his clear bassinet that was going to be his bed for the next 4 days. I remember thinking how small and how sweet he looked ... it didn't feel real.

The point is this ... the labor and delivery of baby Noah wasn't what I expected. It wasn't easy and nothing could have prepared me for how I would react and what happened. The memories of the bad stuff are fading quickly and when asked if I would do it all over again the answer is a definite yes.

I look at Noah and even though I'm scared and nervous that I'm doing something wrong or that I can't do "this" I know that it's completely worth it. The four days that we stayed in the hospital seem so long ago ... the days and nights blended together and with each day I felt closer and more attached Noah. I can't wait to experience life through Noah's eyes and until then I can't wait to find words that better explain how much I love him.

The Tale of Two Poos

The day Noah was born the Rabbi came by and did a blessing on both Noah and I. It was really moving and it was so nice of the Rabbi to come by the hospital. She stayed a little while and chatted with us. She has two young boys so she gave me some advice ... she said "...and take your stool softener."



I didn't realize at the time the importance of this statement. Everything comes down to poo. I have never really had a problem with the softness of my stool. I knew they weren't going to let me leave the hospital until I foofed (or passed gas), but I didn't realize that I wouldn't poop for a few days. Every time the nurses would check my vitals they would say "Have you passed gas" and sadly I would have to say "No, not yet."



Everything about gas and poo is funny! For those that know us, Greg and I, we're big foof proponents, how could I not have been able to foof? I felt so defeated! When I was in the hospital the days sort of blended together, so I don't remember the momentous day, but I did eventually foof and I felt so proud of myself, so accomplished. I had a baby and I had foofed, what could be better, right?



Well, yesterday I finally had my first poop. I know this is a lot of information, because really, how often to people talk about this stuff? But I have found that after having a baby, modesty goes out the window, so if this is too much for you, you may want to stop reading now, because it only gets worse ...



Anyway, I went to the bathroom yesterday morning, and I sat there for what felt like 30 minutes! Greg even wondered what happened to me ... apparently having a baby slows EVERYTHING down. So not only had I not pooed in several days, but it felt as though I was in slow motion. I think I must have pooped out my intestines; like the poo had piled up inside my body and was being released from captivity .... and again, I was proud of myself.



So today, Noah proved that he is 100% part of this family ... we had our first poo-explosion! I took Noah into the nursery to change his diaper. When I opened it up there was only a little bit of pee-pee, so I started wiping and was about to change the diaper and then it happened ... he foofed! I giggled, he giggled and then I looked down and I noticed, there was a little bit more poop. So I called Greg and asked him to get me another wipe (we use dry wipes and then get them wet in the bathroom, so I couldn't leave Noah by himself on the changing pad).



Greg came in as I was changing Noah out of his second diaper, he foofed again ... and with that poo shot across the room! Across the diaper basket, across the stack of wipes, onto the baby blanket, through the changing pad, across the wall and onto the door. While Greg and I were laughing and trying to pick up the poop-covered baby pieces I leaned over, still giggling, to give Noah a kiss on his forehead.



I said "welcome to the family" and with that, Noah peed off his diaper, up his tummy, onto his shirt and onto his new little addidas. Greg and I lost it! I didn't know what to pick up first ...I couldn't stop laughing!



We finally got ourselves under control, finished picking up the pee and the poo-covered baby paraphernalia and I felt reassured and proud; Noah is definitely part of our family.

Welcome back to my life you tasty beast!

Yesterday we came home from the hospital ... I haven't washed my hair in a long long long time. I had a plan. I was going to wash my hair and then have a tasty diet coke. I felt like the experience needed to be perfect and you know about my thing with thing with the clean hair. The hair washing wasn't going to happen too much going on, so I settled on my diet coke with dirty hospital hair ...

Oh Diet Coke, how I missed your fizzy, tasty goodness. Even though I didn't have clean hair for the experience, it was still one of the best tasting drinks of my life. I didn't finish it because I didn't want to freak out the system considering I haven't had any caffeine since last January, but man it was quite refreshing!!!

More later ...

BHR revealed

So, it happened ... BHR was born on September 24, 2008 at 3:16am. His name is Noah Michael Himovitz-Ries. There's so much to share, so much to say and since it's 2:30 in the morning and I just got home from the hospital yesterday, this will not be my most exciting entry.

The labor story will have to come later, but in the meantime I can finally share our thought process behind BHR's new and permanent name ... you may not remember my entry that talked about how Judiasm works with naming, but the point is that I always new that either Lucas or myself would use the name Michael. I've always loved that name, not just because it was my father's, but also because it's a nice name and I like the way it sounds. It was hard because since Lucas and Lara don't have a child and because you don't name anyone after someone who is still alive I didn't want to take their option of using Michael away and that's one of the reasons that Michael is the middle name , also Greg and I both wanted a name that was different (Michael is pretty common), still had a good meaning and is Jewish.

We looked at meanings of names in books and stories online and we found Noah. Noah means "peaceful" and that's something that I am always striving for, yet rarely achieve. It's something that I hope for in the world and something that we desperately need. It's something that I value in people and in the communities that I join, but most importantly I think it's a name that describes Greg. He's so calm and patient ... when I feel chaotic and overwhelmed and it feels like my head is spinning, Greg has a way about him that makes everything seem calm. He doesn't deal with problems by yelling or screaming, he is thoughtful in his responses and in how he handles conflicts and challenges ... he internalizes a lot and sometimes you aren't always sure what's going on, but what I do know and what I can always tell is that he's coming from a place of thoughtfulness.

Knowing that we were having a boy I immediately thought of Greg and my hopes for our son ... I hope that our son inherits Greg's calming and peaceful nature. We were between Noah and Jonah and while we initially were going to go with Jonah, sharing these last 5 days with Greg and our new son and our chaotic labor experience, I know that choosing the name Noah was the right decision. Greg was amazing throughout the whole experience ... he was attentive and devoted and made me feel like we can definitely do this. And while he may feel nauseous and scared and overwhelmed, there is no doubt in my mind that he's going to be an amazing father and that I am not in this alone and that makes me feel peaceful ...

39 weeks...one week to go

BHR is 39 weeks, one week away from term. He's still building fat layers (as am I) to help control his body temperature after birth, and it's likely that he measures around 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 lbs, which is like a mini watermelon. They also say that boys tend to be heavier than girls, but I think right now, I weigh more than everybody:)

We went to the hospital yesterday to do some fetal monitoring. I had noticed a decrease in BHR's fetal movement and called the doctor. I guess when you are this far along they send you straight to labor and delivery. I remained surprisingly calm considering the last time I was told to go to the hospital when I was a bit of a crying mess. They monitored me and baby for about 40 minutes and made sure everything was okay before releasing us. The doctor's and the nurses keep saying "well, your at 39 weeks, so we aren't going to stop labor." I want to say "who asked you to stop anything? Is there anyway you could start something?" Cheese and rice people, nothing has started yet, so let's not jinx it by making these statements about "stopping"... I knew BHR wasn't actually coming yet, but part of me was hoping that he would sense the hospital and just decide to get it over with. He didn't.

Other than that I've just been anxiously waiting ... nothing else seems very important these days, just BHR. Not knowing when to expect him; not knowing what feelings are normal or not normal, has been hard. Wondering if he's kicked me enough or if my water is going to break or tear and if it's a tear have I missed it and if I've missed it am I hurting BHR ... I'm assuming I'll know these things when they happen, but I don't like leaving things to chance. I like planning, I like knowing...

I've been trying to get on a good hair-washing schedule (every 2-3 days) so that BHR can meet me with at least relatively clean, straight hair and possibly even painted nails...I always perform better with straight, clean hair. My worst marathon experience ever, I remember deciding the night before that I didn't need to wash my hair. I was going on day 3 or 4 and figured that it didn't matter because after you run a marathon your hair gets so disgusting anyway, who's going to notice? Apparently the running gods noticed, because that was an awful marathoning experience and part of me wonders if it would have been different had I washed and straightened my hair? I guess I'll never know ...

For those of you that don't know this, washing my hair is one of my least favorite things in the world! Remember when I talked about the girls with the perfect straight hair, the kind that would swish from side-to-side when they would walk, the girls that can "get up and go"? Yeah, that's not me. I have to wash my hair, then I have to blow it dry, then I have to flatten it, then I have to worry about whether or not there is any bit of moisture outside that is going to F it up...it's a process and it takes strategic planning.

Ideally, this is what I would like to happen so that I can plan accordingly ... I want to walk into the doctor's office and have them say "okay, now we are going to go to the hospital. BHR will arrive in approximately 7-9 hours. You will push for this long and this is what's going to happen and then we will hand you your healthy baby boy." I'm not completely dellusional, I like to think of myself as hopeful. I know this isn't actually going to happen, but wouldn't it be nice?

I haven't really be in the mood for chit chat or seeing people. It's not because I dislike people or anything like that. I can't explain it really ... I've always been a home body, but lately I really just like doing things that require as little effort as possible. I read that it's normal, but after this experience, I definitely don't trust "everything" that I read because there are things about pregnancy that no one tells you, and that no one can explain even if they tried.

I was thinking this morning about what I'm going to miss ... I think I'll miss being with BHR all the time. Knowing he's there and feeling him move around. It's nice to be able to provide a space for someone that's safe and comforting. Supposedly it's really warm in there, and that could be nice for someone, right?

The list of things I'm not going to miss is probably a little too long ... but who knows, maybe one day I'll look back and think "ya' know, I really miss those cankles" or I'll think "remember when my boobs were super huge and unattractive and didn't fit into 'pretty' bras and tried to smother me when I slept? Those were the days."

I have no idea what I'm really going to miss until it's over and I think that's the sad part about pregnancy ending ... however, I'm thinking that once BHR is here, I won't mind everything else. They say that after a while you forget everything, you forget the pains of pregnancy and labor and that's how women are able to keep having babies; so much time goes by that you forget that you ripped your "lady downstairs" from head to toe and you look at your baby and think, "I want another one" and that's how it starts again.

I'm ready to meet him, and I'm sure I'll be able to create another list of things that no one can ever fully explain about being a parent and my cankles won't seem so bad. Stay tuned ... BHR could be here any moment, but let's just hope it happens on a "clean hair" day or at least within the 3-day window.

Reason number 8 gazillion Why I love my dog!

Who's sick of my flip video?

Oh Burritos ...

Yesterday was Greggie's first cyclocross race of the season. There was a big "cyclebration" at Negro Bar in Folsom. My mom, Ed and Nelson came and joined Gary and I to cheer Greg on. Here's a video of Greggie's race. A few things that you don't get to see ... me eating 3 oranges in about an hour or so, Nelson taking off down the hill and my mom, Ed and I polishing off a giant bag of kettle corn.

Greg didn't come in last and that was his goal ... if you listen closely you will hear Greg comment on the burrito that he ate the night before. Probably not the best choice before a big race. All in all it was a good day.

Week 38...14 days to go

BHR weighs around 6.8 lbs and is over 19 1/2 inches long, like a leek.

I'm hoping for less than 14 days ... in case you couldn't tell:)

Tasty Pancake Goodness ... how you make my tum tum happy and warm on the inside.

Today is my 30th birthday. To help me celebrate my mom and Ed took me to one of their favorite places, The Original Pancake House in Roseville. I thought driving to Roseville just to eat pancakes was crazy, but this place was definitely worth the drive!


To see our tasty pancakes click here.


My mom ordered a "Dutch Baby", I had the "Apple Pancake" and Ed got regular "blueberry pancakes." My mom also got a side of bacon, an orange juice, fruit and coffee. It's amazing she's as tiny as she is:)


I don't feel very different now that I'm 30 ... maybe I will after BHR arrives? But I'm sure that will be because I am finally a mom! I can't wait to be a mom. When I was younger I used to think that I would be married with kids and a career by the time I was 23. 23 seemed so grown-up to me. Now, it sounds so young ... is that the first sign that I'm getting older? I'm not at all dissapointed in myself for still being in school and for not being a mom yet, in fact it's quite the opposite. I like where I am and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next...

Gary Goes for Dip

Gary loves going to Nana and Papa's house just much as me ... it's his happy place. Everything good happens at this house.

Gary doesn't seem to mind that this is the coldest pool in the entire world, in fact he doesn't even look to see if there's water in the pool.

Gary wanted to buy me something ...

Gary told me this morning that he wanted to buy me something fun for my birthday. I asked him what he wanted to get me and he said "a Flip Video." So we went over to Best Buy and got one.

Here's our first couple videos. While I know not many of you will find these videos very interesting or entertaining, please be patient while we are working out the kinks. I'm sure they will get more interesting ... enjoy.

To view our new videos click here and here.

Something gross ...

This infomercial really grossed me out ... I don't know what it was, but it made me a little queasy:(

If you want to watch click here.

Pizza taste test

I've been super into pizza these days, not surprising considering I've always loved pizza ... anyway, I decided to do a mini pizza taste test in Sacramento. Not actually mini pizzas, rather a pizza taste test on a small scale.

My test sample only consists of a few places, but I can do that because 1) it's my test and 2) I don't feel like going to a bunch of gross places when I already know the places that I like.

I have decided that Uncle Vito's is hands down the best pizza place in Sacramento and let me tell you why. You can get pizza by the slice, it's thin, which I really like, it's tasty and it's relatively cheap. Also, you only have to get one piece and it's very satisfying.

Chicago Fire is a close second, but the main reason it came in second is because you can't get pizza by the slice. I do like that you can get both thin and thick crust, however the thin crust pizza comes in tiny squares so you have to eat a lot of them.

I went to Papi Pizza by the slice today. It's on J Street in the uber hip block between Harlow's and El Centro. Maybe I went on an off day, but I have to say, I was not impressed. I got a piece of cheese pizza and the best part about it was that it came in it's own pizza-shaped cardboard box. (I like things in containers and I like individual containers the best). The pizza tasted like pizza that I used to get at the roller rink which actually tastes like tombstone pizza that you can get at the regular food store ... it was only $3 a slice and again I like pizza by the slice, but this wasn't very tasty. Also, I don't think the cheese was all the way melted and it was in a round plastic case spinning thing so it had been sitting there for a while ...

There are other places that I'm sure are also very tasty, but I don't feel like talking about them...

Now I want to go and eat oranges and celery, don't know if that goes with pizza, but sounds tasty to me:)

Oh Crystal man, how I wish you would bring me some more tasty lemon yogurt...

My latest craving for the day is lemon chiffon dannon yogurt. I have never been a major lemon-citrus person, but for some reason with this pregnancy I love all things lemon. I bought this one flavor because I needed one more yogurt to get my 10 for 10 deal at Safeway and so I grabbed this one thinking that it would be the one that I leave for Greg to eat because he likes all the weird flavors, but something about it seemed to entertain my taste buds this morning and I ate it. It was quite tasty, so tasty that I even considered going out to the food store to purchase 10 more ... I didn't.

When we were younger we used to have the Crystal man come to our house and deliver us milk and yogurt. I feel like he even delivered us english muffins, but that could be wrong. We always got lemon yogurt and cherry yogurt. It's weird that we even got the yogurt and the milk considering my mom dislikes both foods and I don't recall Lucas or I being big milk drinkers. I loved waking up and opening the door and seeing our breakfast treats waiting for me. I only remember it happening when the weather was nice and by nice I mean in my memories it always felt like Fall, I could be wrong ... everything great happened in the fall.

It felt like school was starting and the air was chilly, but you knew it was going to heat up later. Lucas and I would walk to Deterding together ... I always hated walking across the grass because it was wet and my socks would get soggy. I loved walking to school with Lucas though.

I also used to like checking the newspaper in the morning. I liked checking the weather, I wanted to be a weather person. I think that changed early on, but I don't remember. I wonder what BHR is going to want to be when he grows up? I wanted to be a fashion designer at one point, and a firefighter, but mostly I remember wanting to be a civil rights lawyer ...knowing that I've wanted to do this for so long you would think that I wouldn't hate law school much, but unfortunately that's just not the case. Law school will be worth it in the end I imagine ... once school is done, I'll be able to afford to have the crystal man come and deliver me some tasty lemon yogurt ... although, now that I think about it, does the crystal man even exist anymore, I feel like he doesn't and that makes me a little sad.

Maybe Greg will be the Crystal man and bring me some tasty lemon yogurt? I won't make him wear the outfit and he doesn't have to leave it on the front step, although that would be kinda' fun to wake up to some tasty treats on my front porch. Also, Greg doesn't like my yogurt, so he would probably bring home some weird organic-all-natural-yogurt-creme-stuff that has 800 calories that only people who are 6'1" should be eating ... I'll have to think about this plan some more, but that yogurt sure was tasty!

37 Weeks

BHR is now considered full term. He weighs 6 1/3 lbs and measures a bit over 19 inches head to heel. That is about the length of a stock of swiss chard. I wonder who actually figures this stuff out, seriously, swiss chard?

Cool T-shirts?

Not a lot of blogging going on these days ... mostly because not a lot has been happening. I'm not working, which is nice because I'm able to focus on school and baby. if I'm being honest though, I'm mainly focusing on "When BHR is going to arrive." I guess it could be any minute, right? I'm just about 37 weeks and they say that he is technically "full-term" but I really don't understand what that means exactly. If he's full-term, why isn't he here?

Right now I feel like I'm the last hold-out, the last pregnant person in my circle of pregnant people to remain pregnant. Even the person that was due the day before me has had her baby. I'm not angry, but I really like knowing things. I'm not big on surprises and I'm a major planner, so I feel like I'm a bit stuck. I want to know the details and I especially want to know what to pack! My family is making me pack today, but that's just not how I operate.

I've been trying everything to make BHR arrive. I've heard lots of different rumors about what induces labor and so far, I don't think any have worked. I had Mountain Mikes Pizza, Eggplant Parmesean, walking, lavender, yes we even tried sex (which is not very comfortable and kinda' strange if you ask me) ... at least the food choices are all tasty, right?

I have another doctor's appointment on Friday. Let's hope they don't tell me what they told me last time ..."the baby's waaaayyyyy up there ... no baby this weekend." I know they could always be wrong, but the over emphasis of "waaaaayyyyy" was a bit disheartening.

Part of me is really ready, and part of me is really scared. I'm not scared of BHR, I'm mostly scared of labor. Again, I like knowing what's going to happen. I'm a creature of habit and I don't like change much, so not knowing what, when and how it's going to happen is a bit troubling for me. How am I supposed to plan?!

Last night Greg and I had a long talk and we were talking about our name selections ... we had finally decided on one and I had even ordered a pillow with the initial on it last month. So, we pulled out the computer and started researching the meaning and the stories of this name ... turns out, not really such a good name afterall. The pillow is going back...I guess it's a good thing BHR hasn't arrived yet, otherwise he could end up with a name that means something that's not good. Maybe I'm not quite ready or maybe everything will fall into place once he arrives, who knows.

I know I've faced a lot of different challenges, but I don't think anything compares to this. Greg says to think of it like a marathon, but labor doesn't sound much like a marathon to me right now. Unless, when you picture a marathon you picture someone ripping your insides open and pulling out a human being, then I guess you can compare it to a marathon, but why would anyone pay to run that? Maybe they give out a really cool t-shirt?

36 weeks - What is a crenshaw melon?

BHR is gaining about an ounce a day and weighs almost 6 lbs. This is like a crenshaw melon, although I don't know what a crenshaw melon is, I'm sure it's a nice melon. BHR is more than 18 1/2 inches long.

Bon Jovi in a chair

We finally got our new rocker finished! It's not exactly new, but it's an old rocker with a makeover, sorta' like Bon Jovi! Greg painted the chair and we had new cushions made for it. It's perfect and fits me perfectly. It even makes the little "creeky" rocker noise that rockers are supposed to make. Greg wants to fix that noise I'm sure, but now that he's a "new Jew" he's going to have to fix less stuff!

Life Savers, Tic Tacs and Strawberry Rhubarb Shmoo

Greg is off to become a Jew this morning. This process has taken him almost 2 years, but I'm sure it has felt much longer for him. He already has had his symbolic circumcision or his "hatafat dam brit", this morning he went before a panel of three rabbis, also known as "Bet Din", and then at 1:00 today he will be dunked, also called the "mikveh." I'm truly impressed with his dedication to the process, not just what has been required of him, but also his own desire to learn and explore something that I think I have probably taken for granted.

I was born Jewish, and while I attended Sunday school and Hebrew school and everything else, being Jewish has been different for me. Sunday school was never pleasant for me, I didn't have a ton of friends in my classes and never really felt like I fit in. In fact, I remember having one friend in Sunday school who was one year ahead of me. She wore a Raiders parka and had really high bangs.

In regular school I remember being one of three other Jewish students in the class and we would have to go up in front of the class twice a year and talk about Chanukah and Passover and explain to the non-Jewish kids what the holidays were about. I felt different, but I'm not sure I felt special.

After my Bat Mitzvah I remember feeling proud and accomplished, like I had made it. It felt good to be Jewish, but still different. Temple was never a place I wanted to go and I remember resenting Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur because they often fell around the same time as my birthday. It wasn't necessarily Judaism that I didn't like, but temple wasn't a comfortable place for me.

When my dad passed away in 1995 and had the falling out with the Rabbi, that was when I questioned Judiasm. I questioned the Rabbi and felt like he let me down. I don't regret saying what I said at my dad's kaddish and I would probably say it again ...I knew something was right, and I said it. I'm sure many people think that my timing was off, that I shouldn't have said what I said when I said it, but I wouldn't change a thing.

After that, being Jewish was not about going to temple, it was about something I did with my family, something that connected me with different people around me ... family traditions and lots of food. I really owe my mom for making sure Judaism never left my life. Getting me to temple was probably never easy, but she made sure we were there and she surrounded us with loving people and created a new family for us, she made sure we knew that being Jewish was important.

I remember going to temple and sitting in the way back. Sleeping through half of the service and waking up for some of the songs. (In fact, I still sing a lot of the songs on a weekly basis, mostly in the shower. I'm sure Greg has enjoyed them. I think it was my singing that made him want to convert, I have such a lovely singing voice and they are quite catchy tunes.) My mom would give us lifesavers and tic -tacs and we would bug her about when we would get to leave. We were allowed to leave the service and play in the hallway, but only during the sermon. For the longest time I didn't even know what a sermon was, I basically thought it was "break time."

When I went away to college Judaism came with me. I didn't attend temple until the firebombings in 1999, but I always felt connected. Maybe I didn't appreciate what it meant to be Jewish until then, or maybe I just was waiting for the Rabbi to retire before going back, or maybe I was just being lazy...it was probably a combination.

Being Jewish has never been about a belief in God for me ... I question God a lot and his/her existence, and I think that's a part of it. I think questioning is a big part of being Jewish for me. More importantly, Judaism is about culture and tradition and family.

Greg's curiosity and interest in Judaism has helped bring me back and given me a new perception about what it means to be Jewish. Our wedding was one of the happiest days of my life and having a Jewish ceremony was something that helped make it so memorable.

I always knew that I would raise my child Jewish. I never cared if my partner was Jewish or not, but he had to be willing to raise our kids the same way I was raised. Not everything we do or have done in my family has been the most "traditional" ... but Judaism is something that is with me.

I love incorporating our family traditions with knew ones. I can't wait to share latkes with BHR for Chanukah and Matza pancakes with him on Christmas. I love Passover ... eating Gaby's strawberry rhubarb shmooey stuff and reading my mom and Greg's new haggadah. I love that it's a living document. My mom wrote it and Greg and Lucas have both contributed over the years. It's nice to feel that being Jewish is special, that it's an honor ... I thank my mom and Greg for reminding me.

Now that Greg is a Super Jew he can make sure that BHR knows all of the history, I can sing him the songs, my mom can give him lifesavers and tic tacs and we can all eat latkes and matza brie and be thankful that we're Jewish and get to eat such tasty food.

Honeydews and Law School

BHR is now 35 weeks. He is 18 inches long and around 5 1/4 lbs which is about as much as a honeydew. Most of basic physical development is complete, so now he's just gaining weight, just like his mommy!

So, BHR could be born anytime, but I have to say this ... the impossible has happened. I am finally in a law school class that I don't want to miss! The professor doesn't take roll and he doesn't really care that much if you are there and I actually want to be there! Who would have thought that it would ever happen? After two years ... two LONG years, I have finally found a class that is enjoyable. The class is Family Law. No, it's not just divorces and custody battles and it's not just depressing stuff. I've only had one class, so I can't say that I really know exactly what it's all about, but I know I like it so far and that's a huge step.

What does this mean for BHR and I? Well, it means that I'm hoping BHR can hold on at least one more week, because next week we are discussing same-sex marriage and frankly that's one of the reasons I came to law school, so I'm hoping I dont' have to miss it ... if BHR did decide to come a bit early, I think I'd be okay with that too:)

It's almost Fall, let's watch TV!

Finally, after a week of 185 degrees I am finally comfortable. Maybe it's because school starts today or maybe its because Mother Nature is gearing up for the Fall TV lineup, either way I'm not complaining because Fall is coming!

Fall typically reminds me of school supplies, television shows and crunchy leaves. Since I'm trying to pretend that school isn't actually happening, I think I'll make a list of all of my favorite television shows. These are in no particular order ...

1. The Cosby Show - (I used to love watching this show with my mom and Lucas. Every Thursday we would watch the Cosby Show, Family Ties and CHeers together. We would pile into mom's bed or room and all watch and eat dinner together with our tv trays. Lucas had a Duke's of Hazzard tray and mine was Strawberry Shortcake. Mom still has them.)
2. Family Ties
3. The Facts of Life - (this was not the best show ever, but I loved it! I wanted to be just like Joe, although I never really wanted a motorcycle.)
4. The A-Team
5. Cheers
6. 21 Jump Street - (But only the Johnny Depp episodes because Booker was just lame!)
7. Seinfeld
8. Friends - (I got to see the show taped live once ... I'm pretty sure I cried when they introduced the cast members.)
9. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - (when Greg and I first moved in together, I asked him to record to the show for me because I had class or something. All he had to do was press record, but instead he decided that he would leave the tv on and since he didn't want to listen to the show, he put it on mute. This was before TiVo. So, he recorded the entire show on mute and when I went to watch it there was no sound ... we almost broke up that night. I like to think that I was the better person for forgiving him, but really he was the better person for not leaving me after learning of my crazy obsession with a fake tv show about vampires)
10. Felicity - (Greg hates this show! He hates that they all whisper and I have to say that is pretty weird)
11. Arrested Development - (Seriously one of the funniest shows ever on television. I wish it were still on.)
12. Scrubs - the musical episode is genius!
    
13. Sex and the City - (minus the last season because the Russian dancer was gross and the show got depressing)
14. The Office - (I watch the US version, not because I don't think the UK version is good or probably even better than the US version, but mostly because I can't understand a word that Ricky Gervais says and then I get embarrassed and Greg makes fun of me.)
15. 30 Rock - (Doesn't everyone relate to Liz Lemon ... the episode where she goes to some new NYC club opening and she feels uncomfortable so she tries to chat with some people and she says "So... do you guys watch Heroes? I like the Japanese guy" and they all look at her like she's crazy.)
16. Alias - (I still haven't seen the final season, but the show is still quite entertaining! I love Sydney Bristow. She secretly made me want to become some sort of spy or FBI person ... I think it could work as long as they don't expect me to travel or shoot anyone or use weapons. Otherwise I think I'd be awesome!)
17. Veronica Mars - (Another show that was cancelled well before it's time. Who doesn't love a sassy, teenage super sleuth who quotes The Big Lebowski and has a dog named "back-up"? Even Greg watched this show with me)
18. Gilmore Girls - (Another show that Greg wishes I never discovered. He says it's because they have this weird "lalalala" song that they play between scenes, but really I think he likes it.)

Hair Washing and Finger Joints

I haven't had too much to say these days ... mostly just trying to get by. School officially starts today and I'm just not there yet. I'm not ready. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready because to be honest, if you couldn't tell, I don't really enjoy law school.

I am going on early maternity leave this week. My last day of work will be on Thursday. I'm excited! I've been working for EdVoice for almost 3 years, it's going to be strange not driving here next week, but I'm seriously not complaining because I'm really tired!

BHR is taking a lot out of me lately... This morning was hair washing day, probably one of my least favorite things to do during the week. I got so tired blow-drying my hair this morning, I had to take a break! Hopefully the early break from work will help the energy level, but I'm not counting on it.

Recently I discovered a new pain ... last week I woke up in the middle of the night and my fingers were super sore! I have come to learn that my joints are getting looser and my fingers are a little more swollen and my knuckles hurt. Apparently this is normal and it will hopefully go away once BHR arrives or shortly thereafter, but honestly I definitely wasn't expecting pregnancy to hurt my finger joints!

Gross picture of gross looking food!

I was reading my usual gossip columns and I came across this picture of a new "hot spot" restaurant that serves eggs or something ... I decided this was one of the grossest looking meals I have ever seen and think that this restaurant should probably do a much better job at advertising how tasty their food is ... that looks like a bunch of stuff that my cat just threw up! Blech!

The brocoli stuff might be tasty, but it's sitting next to a pile of weird colored, already chewed eggs ... not good in my book.

34 Weeks ... and we're back to round fruits!

BHR is 34 weeks today. He weighs 4 3/4 lbs, which is about as much as a cantaloupe, and is almost 18 inches long. If BHR were born today he'd generally do fine. He might have to stay in the hospital a bit longer, but in the long run he'd be okay. Phew ... we're almost there!

Meet my new tasty sangwich ... the picture doesn't do it justice.

We've been watching the olympics all weekend, so today I decided I wanted some chinese food. However, I didn't actually want to make the effort to go and get some and I didn't actually know what I wanted, so I gave up on the chinese food idea and went into the kitchen to search for some inspiration...

I came up with the tastiest sangwich EVER! I'm not usually a huge "egg" person necessarily, but this was some tasty stuff! Whole wheat roll, kona honey mustard, lettuce, pepper jack cheese, turkey bacon, and one egg with salt and pepper. MMMmmmmmmm ... meet my new sangwich.
Oh tasty sangwhich, how I enjoyed eating you with my giant glass of apple juice. How you made me so happy and filled my tum tum with tasty goodness. Thank you tasty egg sangwich. Thank you for making my insides melt with yumminess.

Hopefully this doesn't offend anyone ... it's about spanking.

I preface this post by saying, if you believe in spanking, don't read this. It's not meant to offend anyone, it's my own personal views on spanking children.

Last night in my Juvenile Law class we had a very interesting discussion. It was about corporal punishment and whether or not there should be a law that a bans corporal punishment, or spanking your child. Hopefully this post does not offend anyone, but here's my take of the discussion that occurred ...

I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were against a law that banned spanking. Not everyone in the class spoke out, but the majority of students were pro-spanking, or they were not for spanking themselves, but they did not want to tell other people that they couldn't spank their child.

As someone who is about to become a mother I found this discussion incredibly interesting ... I was not raised with spankings as a child, so I have never thought about spanking my own children. I felt naive as I sat and listened to my classmates rationals about why spanking is okay ...I assumed that being in a law class most students would agree with me, I was very wrong.

One student felt that creating a law would not change behavior, to which I thought in my mind, why are you in law school? Another student felt like if his child ran across the street he should be able to teach him that it's not okay without the risk of being turned over to CPS. Others said that it's a cultural thing and that you can't tell a culture that it's not okay to do something ... they are entitled to their opinions and I kept my mouth shut (mostly because I had to pee and I wanted class to end early and also because I was so shocked and amazed at what some people were saying).

The whole time this discussion is going on books were being passed around the classroom. The books contained very graphic photos of children who were sexually assaulted or who were beaten by their parents. The pictures were so disturbing that some people wouldn't look at them and just continued to pass them along. Please don't take my statements to mean that people who spank their children are on the same level as people who sexually assault or who beat their children, but the discourse among my classmates was still shocking to me. Where do we draw the line?

The thing that I have a hard time with is this ... nowhere else in our lives is it okay to hit someone, so just because we call this "spanking" how is it different? I'm not a parent yet, so I can't say that I fully understand any of this, but it was thought provoking ... my mom told me the story of the one time she spanked me. I guess I turned to her and I said "Don't hit me! If I can't you, you can't hit me." And she said she never was able to do it again. Doesn't that make sense though? I wonder as a parent, how am I going to teach my child right from wrong? What will my methods be?

My professor, who is an expert on child abuse, made some interesting statements. While a law that banned spanking might be hard to enforce immediately, laws can change people's perspectives over time. He used the example of segregation and how people once believed that there would never be integration and look at where we are now. He talked about how at one time many people believed that it was okay for husbands to beat their wives ... maybe 10 or 15 years from now we will look back and be shocked that people thought it was okay to "spank" their children.

From a scientific perspective, the professor also mentioned that the American Academy of Pediatrics has also come out against corporal punishment saying that is ineffective. Since I am not writing a scientific article nor am I looking to get this published anywhere, I will leave it at that.

I believe that teaching people new approaches to correcting misbehavior would be a very challenging task! It would be hard to implement and telling people that one behavior is not okay without educating them as to why and providing them with resources would be irresponsible! I openly admit that I am not an expert that I don't have the answers, I would just prefer to live in a place where hitting of any kind was never involved. I'm hopeful and incredibly naive ...

Chompers Himovitz-Ries

So I had a dream last night that I delivered some giant blond baby AND he had a full set of teeth. It could have been because I had just watched So You Think You Can Dance right before I went to bed and Nigel "Chompers" Lythgoe gives me the heebie jeebies, but regardless of why I dreamt it, it was traumatizing!

The dream went like this ... Here I was, all exhausted from giving birth and then they hand me some large, like 40lbs-large, baby and he has blond hair! That was strange enough, but then when he went to breast feed or something all I saw were these big chompers comin' at me. I tried to explain to the nurses that a full set of teeth on a newborn was not normal and that this couldn't possibly be my child and they insisted that it was the new "thing" and all babies have teeth now ... saves on orthodontic work later or something. Anyway, now I'm scared of labor, delivery, anesthesia and "chomper babies"!

When I thought about the dream I decided this ... the teeth thing was definitely because of Nigel Lythgoe and the blond hair thing was because I read in my pregnancy book last night that parents with dark hair are sometimes surprised to see that their newborns have blond hair and then I pictured what Greg and I would look like with blond hair.

The giant baby thing, well I think that's just because everyone keeps telling me how BIG I look and saying things that they think are funny, but in reality it's not that funny to say to a 5'1", 8 1/2 month pregnant woman "Are you sure there aren't two babies in there?" or they ask when I'm due and I tell them September and their jaws drop to the floor and then they say "Really?! That's going to be a BIG baby!"

Just so they know, that's not helpful! I know my tum-tum is big and that there is a living baby inside it, I don't need the reminder of how large I am or how big he is going to be ... the hole down there will either accommodate him or it won't, so basically I just have to trust the doctor's when they tell me "everything is measuring normal." If he doesn't fit through the hole that is provided, then the doctor's will look for other options ... I vote for the option with the least amount of pain, but that's just me.