BHR's first law school exam

My first exam is tonight at 6:00. I don't know if I'm as prepared as I should be or could be, but I also don't feel like I care as much. Maybe it's because I'm so close to being finished with my second year, or maybe it's because it's sunny outside and I'd rather be hanging out with my dog and BBQing, either way, I can't help but feel like this exam is not as important as it should be ...

I don't want to fail, but at the same time, I just want it to be over, whatever "over" means. I'm ready for May 6th, ready to find what BHR is and I'm ready for May 9th, which means that exams are officially over.

I'm worried about my recent development of "pregnancy brain" where I think of things and then 10 seconds later I have to retrace my steps to remember what it was. The new "development" is especially problematic given the fact that my exam is timed. I'm hoping I know enough, enough to pass, enough to really be finished with these classes on May 9th ...

Right now, I'm sitting, flipping through pages of my outline and listening to "that guy." That one guy that knows everything and shares everything and speaks in a tone that is so loud everyone in the Student Center can hear him. Why? I'd like to throw my pen at his head and tell him to shut his pie hole, instead I sit here with my pal and contemplate driving home and cuddling on the couch with Gary and Lou Lou.

New Favorite Thing

I discovered something new that I love while procrastinating today ... I was memorizing more rule statements and decided that I would take Gary for a walk to the corner and get a starbucks. Because it's crazy, ass-hot outside, I decided to get an iced tea, but it had to be decaf. I asked the lady if they had any decaf iced teas, and she said "the passion iced tea lemonade is delicious!" So, got one and now it's my new favorite thing.

Also, writing this blog entry was another way of proscrastinating ... oh blog entries, how you help me waste time, I love you blog.

Triathlon

Greggie did his first triathlon today! I have no concept of time when it comes to these events, but I think he did great. It was pretty warm this morning, so I think the run was fairly hard, but he looked strong when he finished and I think he was pleased with his time.

I would post pictures, except my husband hides all of the electronic equipment (i.e. digital camera and new video camera) from me ... so you'll just have to imagine him swimming, biking and the running. He wore all black and his bike is orange. Does that help with a visual?

Side-Ass-Thigh Pieces ... How I hate you so!

Yesterday I walked to meet Greg at the light rail station after work and while I was waiting for him a man asked me "is it a boy or a girl?" That's the first time a stranger has asked me anything about being pregnant, it was strange. I said "You can tell I"m pregnant? I don't just look fat?" He said "No, you look pregnant. How far along are you?" I told him that I was 18 weeks and he then said ... "That's gonna be a BIG baby!" Seriously? Am I that big? Have I let myself go that much? I mean, I know I'm round, I know I'm low to the ground, but honestly ... who says that?

No one will or would ever tell me that I look like crap ... in fact, I find that I get more compliments than ever before about how beautiful I look and how great I look. Most of the time I don't believe them. I know when I look nice and when I don't ... let's get serious here, when I haven't washed my hair in three days and I'm wearing Greg's basketball shorts, I don't look "beautiful".

The problem is, I don't quite know how I'm supposed to look or what's going on. I feel pregnant, but I also just feel fat and smooshy.

I went to the gym today and I felt like an impostor. I used to love to go to the gym, I didn't care what I looked like, I just loved working out. This time, I felt like I didn't belong or like I was one of the people that show up in January after making a new year's resolution.

I was wearing my Alaska Marathon T-shirt and I felt like it didn't belong to me. No one would believe that someone that looked like me ran a marathon. I was on the elliptical machine, not the treadmill and as I moved up and down I felt my side-ass-thigh pieces follow. I'd go up and then it would take the pieces a little longer to catch up ...up and down and up and down ...

I remember one time I was working out and there was a woman who was workng out with a trainer next to me and she said to her trainer "I want my arms to look like that." Now, I'm not completely dillusional, I don't think my arms look like anything amazing, but they were nice and relatively defined. The best compliment ever!

Today I was lifting weights next to a woman with her trainer and I felt invisible. Not that I needed her to notice my squishy upper body or my 5 pound free weights, but it was in my own mind ... I was just another someone trying to start from scratch.

As much as I love BHR is how much I hate my side-ass-thigh pieces. I was thinking too ... you know some pregnant women look like they might just fall forward? I dont' think that's the case with me, I think my giant ass is going to balance it all out. For every inch forward my new belly grows, my ass goes the opposite direction.

Now I feel bad for complaining about my body ... perhaps I will think about making another tasty sandwich while I study equitable servitudes.

2 1/2 More Hours

I've been thinking about sandwiches a lot today ... it's only 9:20 in the morning and I would really like a sandwich. I have it all planned out, and I bought the turkey and cheese and fresh, fluffy bread yesterday. I'm going to heat the turkey in the microwave so that I don't get listeria, but really I love sandwiches. I also love going to the grocery store, also known as the food store. I love bringing home fresh groceries and having exactly what I want to eat in the house.

When I was younger my mom and I would go to the food store and I would bring my own yellow and orange fisher price basket and push it along next to my mom. She had to be very patient with me because I'm sure I wanted everything! I felt very special going grocery shopping with my mom and helping. I felt like I was her. Then we would get in the car and would fall asleep.

I'm going to get BHR one of those yellow and orange grocery carts. I know everyone says they have little carts at the grocery store for little kids, but BHR needs the yellow and orange one like I had, I don't have a good reason as to why, but I don't need one either.

I can't wait to make my sandwich! Only 2 1/2 more hours to go! Only 2 1/2 more hours of easements and eminent domain to go!

155

BHR's heartbeat is at 155. Now, I don't know what that means, but the Doctor said it's good. BHR sounded less like a helicopter and more like someone was swinging something over their head (I'm picturing something like Robin Hood, but I could be totally off), but you know what I mean? Like when someone is getting read to fling something they spin it over their head several times and then release. Anyway, that's what BHR's heart sounded like.

Back to studying convenants ...

Theme Song

Some of you may or may not know this ... I've had the same song stuck in my head for almost 7 years. "Cel-e-brate good times, come on! Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ... yahoo!" It's the most annoying and ridiculous song ever, but I have come to think of it as my theme song and it's pretty much always filling the void in my empty head. Occassionally, other songs creep in and take that void, but eventually "cel-e-brate" will make it's way back. I suppose there are worse things or worse songs and maybe this song is my subconscious trying to tell me something ... when I say it could be worse, it really could be. I could have that stupid Meatloaf-Go-Phone commercial song stuck in my head ("Let me sleep on it ...") Oy vey, that song is annoying! I can't imagine my mom, Lucas and I ever singing or doing anything like that commercial, however our names aren't meatloaf and family, so that takes care of that.

Anyway, during exams, it's hard to celebrate much of anything, so I'll just let the song keep going until May 9th, when this whole nightmare is over.

Hair from Side to Side

I couldn't take it anymore ... I know I'm supposed to be studying, but I was surrounded by dirt and stink. My dog is stinky, I'm stinky (I am studying and haven't showered yet, I don't know what Gary's excuse is) and my house felt stinky. Greg doesn't want me to use the harsh chemicals in the cleaning products,and I know they aren't good for me and BHR so I was careful! I promise, but I couldn't take it ...

I was memorizing deeds ... general warranty, special warranty and quitclaim and I just couldn't do it! So, I stood up, stepped away from the notebook and began to clean. At first it was just going to be the bathroom, but then I decided why not do the floors?

I realize all I was doing was pushing one ball of hair from one side of the room to the other, but in the end it made me feel good. I don't know how Gary or I have any hair left to be honest. He's a pretty fluffy dog, but I'm pretty sure I just vacuumed up half of him from my floor.

I used Greggie's new "green" cleaning products and put one fluff of hair from the kitchen into the living room and this was satisfying to me. I did use the pinesol to mop and I'm sure it's not "green" but I love the smell of pinesol. It reminds me of my mom's house and as you can tell, if you've read any of my other posts, everything good begins and ends at my mom's house.

Gary, didn't appreciate the cleaing very much. I don't know if it was because he felt like he was being pushed aside or if the vacuum just scared him. Louis was confused and would take trips up and down his cat tree to greet the vacuum. He's not afraid of anything.

I wonder if this is what my kids will be like ... Gary is adorable and sweet and a bit starved for attention all the time, but also a bit fragile and scared. Louis is very independent and strong, only wants to come and love you on his terms. He's playful and a bit crazy. Both are loving,but in their own way. Gary never wants to leave my side and Lou Lou just comes and goes as pleases. Did Greg and I make them this way? I know kids are not animals, but Louis and Gary are my family.

I know a lot of people say that when you are pregnant you start nesting, and I gues that means cleaning a lot. I've never been a clean freak, but it's strange ... I like the house clean when I begin things. I can't pack for a trip until the house is clean and all of thelaundry is folded and put away. I think I got this from my mom. I know she's the same way with the laundry.

Unfortunately we don't travel that much ... Greg always asks why the house is always cleaner for when we are leaving and dirty when we are in it? I don't have a good answer.

So, I may or may not be nesting, but I don't think it's fair to put my studying procrastination on BHR ... maybe it's a good justification for the study break, but it needed to be done either way. AND, like I said, I didn'treally clean so much as I just moved fluff and dirt from side to side.

Pesach

We had our second Passover Seder last night at my mom's house. I know I talked about how much I love this holiday and how worried I was about the charoset, but everything was perfect! In fact, I have left charoset for lunch and probably for dinner tonight.

My mom had 19 people at her house last night. You would think with that many people it could feel distant or formal, but to me, it still felt cozy and warm and reminded me of all the other holidays that we have at my mom's house ... perfect!

I love being in my mom's house. It reminds me of being wrapped in a blanket. Everything feels comfortable ... even when the food is fizzy, everything feels perfect. (The food was not at all fizzy last night, but there was a fizzy incident at a different holiday many years ago).

After dinner we drove my grandma home ... I enjoy these car rides. Grandma talks and shares stories about the past and about things that I was never a part of. I learn about my grandpa and about where my grandma lived and all of the things that she experienced. I know these are her memories and her stories and maybe they aren't exactly the way they happened, but it's nice to hear about the past through her eyes.

Bell Pepper

So today I'm at 18 weeks ... I'm about the size of a bell pepper. I'm wondering when this bell pepper is going to start moving or if he/she has already moved and I missed it! I don't want to miss anything, but at the same time, how am I supposed to know what this feels like. I'm a pretty gassy person to begin with, so if it feels like gas, BHR's movement could go unnoticed. I've also heard it could feel like flutters ... I don't know what that will feel like, but I'm ready.

I keep waiting and wondering... then I make the mistake of reading articles online about "when you should call the doctor" or "7 signs your baby is in trouble" these are awful articles meant to scare me! Don't these website people know that I'm paranoid that every little pain or tingle makes me want to call the doctor?

I'm sure I'm fine, and I'm sure BHR just takes after his/her mommy and likes to sleep a lot, until then I'll just sit and wait for the gas to pass:)

I just ate the sh*t out of some tasty food...

Yesterday I was craving a cinnamon roll and chicken chow mein ... I decided against that combo and had a salad instead, but today, the cinnamon roll craving was still there. So, this morning, I walked down to the cinnamon roll place and then I ate the sh*t out of a tasty cinnamon roll!

For lunch I had a couple of tasty fajitas ... mmmmm,fajitas.

Appley, walnuty goodness ...

Passover is this weekend and it is one of my all time favorite holidays! I love this holiday for what it stands for, for the memories that I have from past seders and the memories that I will create at this year's seder ... most of my memories involve us breaking into fits of laughter about dumb stuff.

This year will be BHR's first Passover. I'm not a big drinker, in fact, I don't really need alcohol in my life at all, but what about charoset!?!?! The appley goodness that is charoset!?! Oh appley charoset how I love to eat you in between matzo and crunch on your tasty morsels of yumminess ...

What is the big deal most of you are thinking? Well, it's made with wine! So, this year, I have requested wine-free charoset. I wonder, will it be as tasty? Will I still love it's appley walnuty crunchiness? Oh, how I hope so, because a Passover without charoset is like a Christmas without matzo pancakes ... still fun, but not nearly as tasty!

In case you were looking for one ...

http://www.spacesavers.com/sandwich.html

Bad Blogger

Greg says I'm not a good blogger because my posts are so long, but I don't want to write short things, I have a lot of important things to share, as illustrated by all of previous posts.

Plastic Sandwich container

I was thinking while I was making my lunch at work today, and secretly wishing I had one of those plastic containers in the shape of a sandwich because they are cool, about names ... since we don't know the sex yet we haven't really decided on a name yet. Naming someone is so much pressure. I don't want BHR to resent for giving him/her a name that they hate, but then again, you can't leave it up to them to decide because that could take a really long time ... I mean they would have to learn to speak first and I think that takes some time. Anyway, my point is that BHR is going to need a name, and it's up to Greg and I to come up with one.

When I was younger I didn't like my name, I wanted a name like everyone else's. There were always 3 Katie’s, and several Andrea’s and Tiffany's and I wondered how come no one had my name. I hated, and still hate, saying my name out loud, but that's because of the "is it 2 syllables or 3 syllable debate" and my mouth twists in a funny way .. .anyway, now I love my name! I love that it has history and that I was named after someone, someone who was loved and someone who was a part of me at some point.

The story is this ... I was supposed to be named Abigail and three days before I was born my grandma Julia passed away. In the Jewish religion you are named after someone who has come before you and is no longer alive (is that a nice way to say that they are dead? It's so uncomfortable and I don't want to offend anyone). So, bye bye Abigail and hello Julia. I like telling people that I was named after someone, even if I didn't know her.

When we are thinking about names, I have always assumed I would name my child after my father, Michael, because he passed away when I was 16. At the same time, I am also thinking about other names that I like or people I could name BHR after ...

I don't want to name him/her after a movie star, because that could seem vain. I have always liked girl names that can also be boy names, like Josephine and Jo and Alexandra and Alex. But, whenever I think of the name Josephine I think of Dawson's Creek and then I think of Katie Holmes and I don't BHR to have to say I was named after Katie Holmes the crazy lady that married that guy that jumped on the couch.

What about naming BHR after a person who has done or does good things in the world? Like Ghandi Himovitz-Ries or Mother Theresa Himovitz-Ries. That could get confusing because then I would have to call BHR Mother and then he/she might get confused when they call me something … anyway, my point is that it’s hard to pick a name.

I want BHR to have a name with meaning and a name with history ... not a name of a character on bad WB show that I just can't stop watching! Even though I know what's going to happen in every episode, I keep watching ... it's like TV crack. Awful.

Square-headed brothers

When I was in grade school there were three kids that my brother and I now refer to as the square-headed albino kids. There was Simon, Zeek and other brother (for some reason we can never remember their names). I know it's not nice, and we don't say anything mean about them, I don't know why I thought of that ... kids can be mean. That scares me.

Yesterday when I was leaving work, I saw a group of kids kicking the crap out of another kid. They were probably 10-14 years old. Someone broke it up and the girl (yes it was a girl) seemed to be okay. Things like that and name-calling, even if it's innocent, make me worried about bringing a person into this world.

I promise not to refer to any other kids as the square-headed albinos.

Head-mounted

Greg thinks he's going to get one of these for the delivery room ...

http://www.gizmag.com/head-mounted-camera-for-recording-special-moments/9174/

He's very wrong!

Athleticism, thighs and toe-thumbs

I have always thought of myself as an athlete. I really enjoy that label. I think it connotes someone who is strong. I have never considered myself particularly smart, but I have always felt strong. I remember when I was a kid, wishing I had long, lean thighs like the other girls and my mom would say to me "you have strong legs." I don't know if that made me feel better, but now, I appreciate them a bit more.

I know that I can run up and down the soccer field for a full game or run 26.2 miles and still walk the next day, these are things that I have always liked about myself. Of course I have also been resentful of girls who can wear skinny jeans and have a space in between their thighs, these are the same girls with the perfect pony tails that swing from side to side ... is it bad that I'm secretly hoping that BHR gets Greg's thighs?

I've always wondered if had longer legs, would I run the same? Would I still have earned the nick-name twinkle toes in grade school? Would I run like my mom? I have always liked that I had that in common with my mom, it's distinct and builds character. While I secretly hope that BHR gets Greg's thighs, I also hope that BHR gets my unique style of running down a soccer field ... afterall it builds character. (Sort of like my toe-thumbs) I'm not saying that Greg doesn't have character, but I'm sure he never struggled trying to pull up a pair of pants over his thick thighs. (side note, when we were first dating, Greg was in the shower, I tried on his jeans to make sure that they were too big ... if they fit or were too tight, we were so going to break up! Obviously they were too big cause we're still together).

I'm having a hard time letting this strength go while I'm pregnant. My running pace is over two minutes slower than before, and I can't run quite as far. I know that I will be able to gain it back after I have BHR and perhaps I could become even stronger, but it's a very hard transition.

I'm counting on my athleticism to help me through labor, because honestly these big thighs better be good for something other than running a marathon and to build character!

Day Care

Someone just asked me today what I was planning on doing for day care ... to be honest, I hadn't really thought about it. I've been such a planner up until this point. I have almost all of my doctor's appointments booked, baby classes, dentist appointments, etc. all planned and scheduled. This, I was not even thinking about. I mean, I'm planning on taking 3 1/2 to 4 months off for maternity leave, why can't I deal with it then?

I guess I was wrong ... I feel really dumb for not realizing that I should be on at least 10 wait lists by now! I called one place and I felt like the woman was giving me the "idiot stare" through the phone. I felt like yelling "WTF lady! I'm growing a person here, I can't be held accountable for filling out all of your paperwork on top of growing a turnip in my uterus!" But, then I figured, that probably wouldn't help my chances of getting into her school, so I said "thank you" and hung up.

So, I guess in between taking exams and finding out BHR's sex, I'll be filling out daycare applications...it'll be a nice change of pace from property, civil procedure and business associations. BHR is going to have so much fun at daycare.

Turnip

I'm at 17 weeks this week and BHR is the size of a turnip. I have never thought of anything in terms of a turnip. I finally feel like I'm showing and maybe that I don't look fat, but possibly pregnant. It's a weird feeling ... but things are starting to feel more real.

Exams start in about two weeks, and all I want to do is clean out the office so that we can make room for a nursery. I want to buy baby converse and bottles ... I'm very excited! It's going to be hard to focus on exams when I'm thinking about whether or not BHR is a boy or a girl. Good thing we find out on May 6th at 8:30am. That way I won't have to wait all the way until the end of finals, I'll still have one more to go and then I'll be free!

Still, everything feels very uncertain and that worries me some ... I like to plan things and I like to know dates, times and locations, and right now I guess I can't plan it all, but I'm doing my best ... 3 summer school classes, baby classes, and a nursery, I think my calendar is fairly full.

BHR's First Running 5k!

Yesterday I ran my first 5k since becoming pregnant. During the first month and a half of pregnancy I was still running, but then came the morning sickness and a small scare on an eliptical machine and I just didn't feel I could do it ... I've been back training and doing a run/walk thing with Gary and BHR and we are up to 3 miles!

I decided to do the Zoo Zoom in William Land Park. Leah and I met at her house, where she told me that the walk over would only be about a mile. Turns out it was 2 miles, so on top of the 5k I walked an extra 4 miles! It was strange to only be doing a 5k, and even more so that I was nervous about it. I have done races that are far longer and harder, but I was really nervous about whether I could complete 3.1 miles.

I finished the race with my friend Michelle and I felt great the whole way. We chatted the whole way and I felt great when I finished! I was a bit slower than my previous races, actually over 2 minutes slower per/mile, but I was so excited that I was able to run again, I didn't care. I missed running and it was nice to be back in the running community, even if it was only a slow and short 5k.

BHR felt great and we enjoyed some tasty BBQ at mom and Ed's house afterwards. I'm not very sore today, but maybe that will hit tomorrow ... who knows. My next race will be the Doggy Dash with Greg, Gary, and BHR.

Happy Birthday Greggie!

Tonight we celebrated Greggie's 30th birthday! We had a lot of fun, BHR and I, and it was so nice to see all of our closest friends and family. Greggie got a new video camera...isn't that what all new father's are supposed to have? There were suggestions that the camera will make its way into the delivery room ... while I know some people find child birth to be beautiful and perhaps they would like to see what's going on down there and relive the experience, I am not one of those people. In fact, I am of the mind-set that what happens "down-there" should stay "down-there." As long as I get my baby, what more do I need? No need to show me what happened later, I have the end result I'm happy to move on from the "down there" zone...Happy Birthday Greggie!

Oh diet coke how I miss you!

I'm fine without certain things ... I can handle not having brie or feta or sushi, but why can't I have Diet Coke?

Oh Diet Coke, how you make me smile with all of your fizzy, caffeinated goodness. Diet Coke, you have always been good to me and I promise that I will be back soon and we will be together again. BHR is worth the wait ...

Mucus Plugs

It's really weird that I'm growing a person inside my tummy. I'm not quite comfortable with it yet. Things still gross me out and then I worry about whether or not I'm going to be able to do this ... honestly, breastfeeding sounds kinda' gross. Like when you hear about people tasting the breast milk ... I can't think of anything grosser. Actually, I can. Mucus plug, that's by far one of the grossest things I've ever heard of!

I know I'm supposed to be okay with all of this stuff and that it's all natural and beautiful, but to be honest a lot of it is kind of icky.

Recently we went and saw our friends who had a baby in March. They looked great and the baby was beautiful. Unfortunately, she was still recovering because there was a lot of tearing. TEARING! As in ripping!!! I can't believe things are going to rip and tear and things are going to fall out, it's all really gross.

How do women do this?

Holiday Cards and BHR

Gary and Lou are my two animals. Lou Lou is much more independent and really doesn't require much. We call him an assassin kitty because he can sneak up on you out of nowhere and attack you. But he's also quite sweet and loving. When he comes in through the doggy door you can hear him meowing as if to announce his arrival. He meows through each room and then when he finds you he jumps on your lap and cuddles on your lap or the computer or whatever he can to be close to you.

Gary is a different story. Gary needs a lot of love and a lot of attention! With BHR on his/her way I'm worried that Gary is going to get sad. I don't want to replace him and I don't want him to feel left out. I feel bad because I haven't been able to exercise with him as much as I used to, but we still cuddle together and I still tell him I love him.

A friend of mine told me a story about how she had some friends and they had a dog and the dog was always included on the Xmas card, and then after the baby came, the dog was removed from the card! I don't ever want Gary or Lou Lou to get kicked off the card! I know that our lives are going to change once BHR comes, but Gary is always happy to see me and always loving, they deserve a spot on my holiday card.

Salsa and Cream Cheese

I think it was about two weeks ago ... I had an incident that involved cream cheese, salsa, chips and my couch. It was a tuesday, I didn't have class and I was so excited. I got off work, drove home and decided I would have a little snack and lay down for a little bit and then Gary and I would go for a walk. Unfortunately, that's not what happened.

I ended up eating 3/4 of a container of cream cheese and salsa while watching Gilmore Girls reruns, Greg's most favoritest show ever, that and Dawson's Creek. That was the moment or the experience that finally pushed me over the edge. I can't explan the pain that I felt or how my stomach felt ....it was almost like being back in college when I used to eat cartons of chicken chow mein and regular coke. Just gross!

That night, after the cheese settled, I went online and downloaded a mommy bootcamp workout from iTrain and decided that I needed to start exercising again. I've used some of the iTrain workouts before and while they can be somewhat cheesy at times, I needed something. (www.itrain.com)

The next morning, Gary and I went out for first BHR itrain workout. Gary was so excited. He saw me putting on my running shoes and immediately started barking and chasing his tail. I have been walking on the weekends with my friend Leah, but this was different, and Gary could tell.

The music was a bit cheesy and throughout the workout the instructor reminds you tell yourself "how amazing you are" and "how beautiful your body is." I sorta' caught myself buying into it and for the first time in a long time I felt strong again and that made me happy.

Avocado, Jeans and B-cups

I'm round! I feel like my body is squishing down and I am becoming a round ball. My weekly email update has informed us that we are now the size of an avocado. We've come a long way ... from a lentil bean, blueberry, kidney bean, grape, kumquat, fig, lime, medium shrimp, lemon, apple, an next week we'll be a turnip. I never thought about measuring life in terms of fruit and veggies, but food has always played a very important role in my life, so why not compare my future child's growth to food .. although if I think about too much it starts to creep me out. I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, the first three months have been very hard! I wasn't expecting it to be that hard. First I felt fine and very fortunate ... I wasn't barfing, I could still wear most of my clothes and my I felt good. Then, out of nowhere, I felt awful! I was exhausted and nauseous and miserable.

About two weeks ago I started feeling better ... I'm no longer nauseous, just tired. As I mentioned before, I'm also extremely round! I can't believe how big my boobs are. It's as if over night, I went through puberty all over again!

Being someone who is, or I guess was, extremely active, it's been very difficult to let go of some of the things that I worked so hard for. I had finaly gotten into a B cup! I miss running, I miss playing soccer ... I miss my jeans! I always felt like a chubby person who was just on the cusp of being thin and fit, now I'm just a chubby person who is pregnant.

I probably sound very vain and I know that it's only temporary, hopefully I don't pass along these weird insecurities onto my unborn child. It would be awful to start on the wrong foot even before the baby is born, but I think I was expecting something else ... I think I was expecting to go from my clothes fitting like normal, to maternity clothes with a round bump and then baby ... I guess I was very wrong!

Welcome to BHR ...pee sticks and Bryan Adams

This is my first blog post about BHR, or Baby Himovitz-Ries. I'm already 16 weeks and I haven't written about anything ...I'm very excited and very nervous about the arrival of BHR and the fact that I'm growing a person. A lot of the excitement has been burried in worry and fear and nausea, but I can't wait to meet BHR and I only hope that he/she loves me as much as I will love him/her.

When Greg and I were in Italy listening to Bryan Adams, that was the only CD they played at the restaurant below, in our villa, I said to him "I want a baby." We discussed it for a while and decided that there would never be a "right" time to have a baby ... after a lot of discussion we decided that we start "trying" in December 07 after I ran my final pre-BHR marathon.

It's weird to say "trying" because that basically means "having lots of sex" but the whole thing is a lot of more scientific that that. You have to count the days between your period, take disgusting vitamins and pee on lots of sticks. We were really lucky in that we only had to go through 1 ovulation cycle before BHR was conceived!

When we told my parents, Greg printed out a picture of a pee stick. I asked my mom if we could come over for dinner on a tuesday night. We had talked about waiting to tell people until after the first trimester, but I'm impatient and had to tell my mom! At dinner Greg handed my mom and envelope with the pee stick picture and she opened it and looked very puzzled. Im not sure she knew what it was. After the initial shock there were tears and a lot of excitement. My mom has been waiting forever to be a Nana and now she's going to be on September 20, 2008.

Let's hope I will be as good a mom as she is ...